Exciting Action-Packed Month Ahead
With the Ho Ho Holiday season behind us, many people glumly face the Ho Ho Humdrum months of winter that follow with their sights set on spring and the warm weather to come. But not so fast, February is one of the biggest months of the year in sports.
The kick-off to February actually comes a few days early when on January 30 the NHL will stage their 58th Annual All-Star Game. That same day the NFL will hold the Pro Bowl Game from Honolulu, but in my house I never get to use the TV on a Sunday.
February has something for everyone and sports-speaking, it’s my favorite month.
The ATP World Tennis Tour opens the 2011 season in Brisbane, Australia with $372,000 in prize money on the line. That same day the Burton Canadian Snowboarding Open gets underway in Calgary.
Those are in other countries; like off-Cape. I’m not into that.
On the 4th the 2011 Team USA Adult Badminton Trials will be held in California, I’ll miss that. I think there is an eclipse or something that day.
In Atlantic City on the 4th the Championship Pro Martial Arts Ring of Combat XXXIV will take place at the Tropicana. For anyone in Atlantic City that day that doesn’t want to see the Ring of Combat, the Levon Helm Band will be playing at Harrah’s with admission as low as $211 per ticket.
I think money will be a little tight that week and I’ll probably miss both.
On the 5th the 100 Mile Wilderness Sled Dog Race takes place in Greenville, Maine. Even closer the Farmington Frolic, a 10-mile sled dog race is also happening in the Pine Tree State.
I love Maine, but sled dog racing is too cold for me, and all that panting and drooling reminds me of watching the Miss America Pageant with the guys.
Beside that, I don’t want to be in Maine when the next day, February 6th is the Super Bowl from Dallas.
But with all that advertising and commercialization it really irritates me and I usually get mad and shut it off before the actual game starts.
On the 7th there are the International Ski Federation Alpine World Ski Championships. On the same day the Bobsleigh and Skeleton World Championships begin.
All that stuff is in Germany. No way am I going to Germany. It will probably be televised on ESPN 6 or something. And what is a skeleton anyway? I think I’m busy that day. I’ll be researching my new astrological sign.
The USA Men’s’ National Indoor Field Hockey Team will play in the 3rd International Field Hockey Federation Indoor World Cup on February 8th.
It’s the USA team but the stinkin’ game is in Poland. Poland! Forget it.
Here’s a fun one. In London on the 10th the PDC Premier Darts League opens. What great fun, drinking pint after pint of beer and throwing darts.
If I go, which I doubt, I’ll be sure to bring someone I don’t like very much.
On the same day there is also the Winter Dew Tour Toyota Snowboard Championship from Ogden, Utah. There is 1.5 million in prize money up for grabs. If I could win I could afford to pay for some great sporting trips later in the month. But I’m a little rusty on the snowboard. I may actually have used it for kindling in the fireplace the last time the power went out.
The USA Men’s National Handball Team is holding tryouts at the University of North Carolina on the 10th.
I think I’m getting arthritis in my hand. I better stay home this year.
What I am going to do on the 10th is watch the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am Golf Tournament. I won’t be playing this year, and actually haven’t since Bing Crosby died. I forget what year that was. I guess if you’re a famous singer, when you die they name a new internet search engine after you. What will Microsoft do when Barry Manilow dies?
I might stay home and watch, but watching golf on TV puts me to sleep.
Maybe I’ll just rest up on the 10th and save my strength for the 11th and the 21st Annual US National Toboggan Championship at the Camden Snow Bowl in Maine. Camden boasts the only 400 foot long wooden toboggan chute in the country.
I’d do it; I mean I’m there, but for my fear of wicked big splinters. I don’t know what’s wood, the sled or the chute, but I’m not taking any chances.
There is also the 82nd Annual Laconia NH World Championship Sled Dog Derby.
But again; all that panting and drooling. It would be like a night over a certain photographer’s house watching Charlie’s Angels reruns.
There is the 2011 Indoor Kayak Challenge in Oklahoma City on the 12th.
Indoor whitewater in Oklahoma City? It just doesn’t sound right to me.
This one’s just great. On the 13th the National Rugby League in Australia is having their all-star game.
If they could move it to Woods Hole I’d go.
Another big moment in February sports is the Westminister Kennel Club’s 135th Annual Dog Show from Madison Square Garden on the 14th.
Is this really a sport? I’d rather take a wicked big splinter in the arse, or watch Charlie’s Angels with that photographer and put up with all the panting and drooling. But the random humping is tiresome. It’s a small apartment.
The second half of the month is equally as exciting with plenty of sports action going on.
On February 15th the Four Continents Figure Skating Championships will be held in Taiwan.
I’ll go when they let all the continents skate. What’s wrong with the other three continents anyway? No one skates?
On the 17th the LPGA opens up in Thailand. Last year Ali Miyazato won the Honda PTT.
I’ll be skipping this one. I have an appointment for a unibrow touch-up.
The Junior National Weightlifting Championship takes place on the 18th in Columbus, Ohio. It’s an easy drive for anyone wanting to go. I think my car is in for repairs that day.
If you can get to Salt Lake City on the 19th you can tryout for the 2011 Rink Roller Hockey World Team.
I had a wheel fall off my skates…can’t go.
There is a sled dog race in Atlanta on the 19th. Unfortunately that’s not Georgia, its Atlanta, Michigan.
I don’t know where that is.
The Cricket Men’s World Cup begins with opening round action in Bangladesh on the 19th.
Gimme a break! Bangladesh? Bangladesh? Who wants to go to freaking Bangladesh!
Alright, here’s a February hum dinger. On the 20th NASCAR runs the Daytona 500. It’s a spectacular race that draws 10’s of thousands to sunny Florida – fast cars, hot women and the smell of burning rubber.
But the noise. It’s too much. I already have a partial hearing loss. I can’t afford to risk further damage.
For anyone looking to freeze their butt off on the 20th there is also the 2nd Annual Heritage Hockey Classic. This year the Montreal Canadians and the Calgary Flames play up in Alberta, Canada.
Canada in February? You only need half a brain to know what that means. Polar Bears. No thank you, I’ll stay home.
Much warmer will be the NBA’s All-Star Game in Los Angeles at the Staples Center.
But step outside the Staples Center area and you might get shot. What with crime, pollution, wildfires, mudslides, floods, pestilence and earthquakes I think I’ll wait until they play the All-Star Game at Falmouth High School. The Bloods and Crips haven’t moved to the Cape yet.
I wanted to play this when I was in high school, but my school refused to organize a team, which I thought was pretty short sighted. On the 21st the American Bandy Association playoffs begin. Oh, to hold that Bandy stick again. For those few who don’t know, bandy is kind of like field hockey on an ice covered soccer field, played with skates and hockey sticks and a hard plastic ball. Being a big bandy fan I’m taking the Minneapolis Bandoliers in the finals. However, I won’t be making it as I’m having a bunion removed that day.
On the 22nd the Nordic Combined World Ski Championships take place in Oslo. That’s in Norway. If I was guaranteed a sauna with a room full of big blond, Nordic blue-eyed women in pig-tails, wrapped in nothing but small towels, I’d go, but not to see stinkin’ skiing.
On the 23rd there is the WGC Accenture Match Play Golf Championship in Arizona.
Just Google (or Bing) it, Arizona is full of poisonous snakes – you’d have to be crazy!
The 42nd US National Indoor Junior Olympic Archery Development Championships will be held on the 25th in Andover, Mass. That’s close, but two things worry me – indoor and junior. Is this a bunch of kids in a room with bows and arrows? I could lose and eye.
February 26th is a day many of us sports fans live for. Major League Baseball players report to spring training. Most that is. My guess is there will be some injured from off-season shenanigans and some so hopped up on steroids they’ll come up with some excuse. There will be contractual holdouts, family issues, travel plan screw-ups, and a few just too damn important to show up on time. This day is so important to me that after receiving a Speedo for Christmas, I made my bikini line, laser hair removal appointment for the same day so as to celebrate.
You know, I’d run the Toyoko Marathon on the 27th if it weren’t for my darn plantar fasciitis.
The World Superbike season also kickoffs on the 27th, but, alas, my Evel Knievel days are behind me. Besides, I think one of my tires is flat.
If North Korea doesn’t blow South Korea off the map, or visa versa, the World Junior Figure Skating Champions will be held in South Korea on the 28th. Somehow the North will probably see it as a threat and fire off a couple of random missiles.
I tend to stay out of potential war zones.
Thankfully, there are only 28 days in February, because there is plenty of sports action to keep everyone busy. Get out there and have some fun. I for one can’t wait.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.