Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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A message from Snark-Infested Waters

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Joking (somewhat) aside, I’ve been inspired to go OLD old-school with my holiday greeting this year in response to the latest surge of people pushing “Merry Christmas” is THE only acceptable greeting.

This morning I read a piece by Howie Carr — a man who embodies Jesus in his unconditional tolerance and acceptance of all people — encouraging State Senator Scott Brown (R – Wrentham) to use “Merry Christmas” relentlessly in order to draw some quick and easy attention from the media (and ire from liberal “moonbats,” because they universally hate Christmas). I also read a piece extolling the “historical” attachments of the birth of Christ to Christmas (as detailed in that most respected of historical texts, the New Testament).

If we’re going to embrace the “true origins” of Christmas, then Jesus has to move over and make room, because Christmas owes a lot to pagan celebrations that pre-date his birth. The Christmas tree, for example, itself finds its origins in the Roman practice of bringing an evergreen plants into the home as part of the winter solstice celebration.

It’s also been hotly debated that early Christians, seeking to eradicate pagan faiths, reoriented Christmas and other key celebrations to coincide with pagan holy days in order to make assimilation of the godless heathens easier.

So, in summary: Jesus is not THE reason for the season; it’s A reason for the season, so Christians: ease up a bit, huh?

And before you start whining about the “war on Christmas” and society’s alleged efforts to eradicate all Christian elements of the holiday, take a moment to consider the irony.

Happy Yul(e)!

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The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.

4 Responses to “A message from Snark-Infested Waters”

  1. Howie Carr is my weathervane of social justice: he inevitably points exactly the wrong way. If something is p*ssing him off, I know I can support it fully and with a clear conscience.

  2. And the idea of being kind to one another during this season, ’cause that’s what Jesus would do, is completely out the door. Instead people are storming malls and willing to beat someone to death over the last popular toy of the year.

    I say to you sir, “Merry Saturday and a Happy Hanukkah.”

  3. If they want to see a REAL war on christmas, I suggest they go back to their history books…say to Oliver Cromwell. When saying ‘merry christmas’ would get you a 5 shilling fine and singing carols could land you in gaol. All part of the Puritan plan to clean up society in the name of religion. Whoops, make that christianity.

    Then they exported it to the new world and christmas was illegal in the Plymouth colonies while the south celebrated.

  4. And then there’s the picture of the REAL Jesus that would cause the right wingers in our society to track Jesus down and kill him during the 2nd Coming because of their racial profiling:

    http://whitenoiseinsanity.com/2010/01/06/who-is-this/

    Unbelievable!

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