This week’s talked-about topics, ranked by importance (10 = extremely important, 1 = completely trivial fluff)
10) Charlie Sheen (as viewed from the perspective of Charlie Sheen)
9) Moammar Rhymes With Ga-Daffy is still, barely, in power, but that can’t last long.
8 ) Gas prices spike because of the unrest in Libya…which makes no sense since Libya is not even in the US’s top 15 oil suppliers, and what we’re paying for now was taken out of the ground months ago. Screw you, commodities speculators.
7) The Supreme Court makes a tough call and protects the Westboro Baptist Church’s right to conduct their protests at funerals for soldiers killed in action. A victory for our right to free speech, but that’s about where the winning ends.
6) The MBTA apologizes for its antiquated trains and poor decision making. Get used to the apologies, commuters, because if the MBTA has its way it’s not going to be reimbursing you for late trains. But hey, they’ll have nifty signs to let you know the trains are running late!
5) A Brigham Young University athlete gets booted from his team, and could face expulsion, for having premarital sex. So remember, kids: sex before marriage BAD. Sex with your thirteen wives GOOD.
4) Conservative watchdog group Judicial Watch obtains FBI files that reveal the pre-Senate Ted Kennedy rented a brothel to “entertain” Latin American dignitaries. Transparency in government is always important, and no one’s history should be above standing revealed before the light of day — and yet, I wonder what is to be gained by revealing this info. If this is nothing more than an attempt to somehow smear the entire liberal left by dragging the hallowed Kennedy name through the mud, then Judicial Watch should examine its priorities.
3) Justin Bieber’s hair sells for $40k on eBay. The Gentle Barn benefits from the money. A 15-year-old girl with her parents’ stolen credit card and access to a genetics lab, benefits from the DNA samples.
2) Anne Hathaway and James Franco do a meh job of hosting the Oscars. This is no big deal at all, especially when you consider that, apparently, the Oscars have outright sucked ever since Billy Crystal stopped hosting.
1) Charlie Sheen (as viewed from the perspective of everyone who hasn’t friend his brain on crack).
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.