10) Japan gets slapped by another earthquake. What the hell, planet Earth?
9 ) President Obama drops a non-bombshell that he’ll be running for re-election. So…where are the Republican candidates? Hm? Anyone? Anyone?
8 ) Terry Jones — not the delightfully amusing Monty Python alum, the jerk-bag Florida minister — burns the Quran and sparks riots in the Middle East. A frustrated Jesus leaves Christianity and becomes a Pastafarian.
7 ) Congress threatens a government shutdown if severe cuts are not made. Funny how a shutdown keeps the paychecks flowing to our elected officials who created the mess and not to, say, military personnel.
6 ) Camp Good News gets another black eye after an employee under investigation on child molestation charges commits suicide on camp grounds.
5 ) Rutgers University makes a colossal error in judgment by paying Snooki of “The Jersey Shore” $32,000 to speak to students — in this case “speak” meaning judging male students’ abs and extolling the virtues of partying and tanning. Seriously. By the way: it costs more than $23,000 per year to go to Rutgers as a student.
4 ) Charles Cipollini, the area’s rep on the governor’s council, criticizes Governor Patrick’s nomination of Barbara Lenk to the state SJC, blasting Patrick for “catering” to specific interest groups and lamenting that Lenk, an open lesbian, will be biased on cases because of her orientation. He closed with a finger-wagging at the SJC for not supporting “traditional family values.” Like what, Charles? Shameless grandstanding? Marginalizing minorities? Running for a political office you didn’t even really want that badly? Stuff like that?
3 ) Glenn Beck and Fox part ways. Fox blames sagging ratings and reduced revenue due to an advertiser boycott of the show. Beck spends 30 minutes blaming Obama, Democrats, liberals, progressives, George Soros, socialists, communists, Hitler, Mussolini, and — inexplicably — Sesame Street’s Elmo. But you see, it’s all connected…!
2 ) WTKK fires controversial radio personality Jay Severin over comments that he abused his power to coax female employees into having sex with him. Crucial details: WTKK did not fire him because of the inflammatory nature of the remarks, but because they have a stern policy against lying like a rug. I mean look at the guy. A woman wouldn’t bed him after a six-pack and a dare.
1 ) Royal wedding mania continues to ramp up. Why anyone in the US is that invested in the wedding of a foreign figurehead is beyond me.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.