10) Japan goes Chernobyl, deals with aftershocks, somehow manages to keep on keepin’ on.
9 ) President Obama pitches spending cuts and tax increases on the richest Americans as a way to reduce the deficit. Republicans spring into action to protect their campaign benefactors…but really, they’re fighting for hard-working real Americans.
8 ) More than a dozen people now have come forward to claim they’d been sexually abused at Camp Good News in Sandwich, which loses its accreditation and will not open this summer. Don’t be surprised if this closure becomes permanent.
7 ) Mashpee deals with two drug-related shootings within a 48-hour period. One dead, only one arrest so far. Residents are taking the matter in stride, but now it’s time for them to take matters into their own hands and fight the influences that led to these tragedies.
6 ) During last week’s budget debate, Arizona Senator Jon Kyl flagrantly lies about Planned Parenthood’s abortion activity rate. After he’s called on his gross inaccuracy (abortions count for only three percent of Planned Parenthood’s activities), Kyl brushes it off by claiming that it was never meant to be “factual.” Jon Kyl is an upstanding politician of the highest moral fiber.*
5 ) Mitt Romney steps into the 2012 Presidential race. I’m now taking bets: will he A) Dodge the Massachusetts health care reform issue so furiously people will start calling him “Neo”, B) Argue that the “real issue” is the federal government impinging on states’ rights to self-governance, C) Claim that he had no choice but to sign the bill because the Democrat-controlled Legislature would have pushed it through anyway, or D) Resort to his time-tested tactic of completely flip-flopping and claim that the whole thing was a big mistake?
4 ) The media wastes time covering an artificial uproar over the J. Crew catalog’s editor posing for a photo with her son and his hot pink toenails. Instead of getting ripped over the non-issue of gender-bending, maybe the media should have gotten angry over J. Crew charging so much money for such bland clothing.
3 ) Two cast members of “The Jersey Shore” get their salaries quadrupled to six figures for the coming season. I think MTV could have had them for a case of Bud Light and a party-pack of Trojans.
2 ) Donald Trump reveals that he’s paying people to research the Obama birth certificate issue. Perhaps because he knows the only way in hell he could beat Obama in an election is to get the man disqualified for office.
1 ) The Red Sox win their season opener at home, restoring delusions of adequacy among the Fenway faithful.
* = Not meant to be factual.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.