I’m back! On with the countdown!
10 ) Mother Nature kicks the crap out of middle America and, inexplicably, Springfield, Massachusetts. WTF, nature?
9 ) Congress defeats, at least for now, an attempt to raise the debt ceiling. Boy, they can spend money they don’t have and escape consequences by pushing the threshold back…how come I don’t get to do that kind of stuff?
8 ) Mitt Romney officially launches his Presidential campaign, and many polls have him as the front-runner. Which means he’ll be probably Howard Dean the whole thing and crash and burn after the New Hampshire primary. (See #2 for more Romney-related fun)
7 ) Sarah Palin — overpaid Fox pundit and reality TV show star — toodles around America in a gargantuan tour bus that probably uses more fuel than Alaska produces in a year to get a better sense of the problems plaguing “Real Americans.” She’s dubbed it the “Oblivious to the Irony Tour.”
6 ) John Edwards is indicted for allegedly using campaign money to hide his extramarital affair. Shut up, Republicans, your track record isn’t that hot either.
5 ) Weinergate! New York Congressman Anthony Weiner gets embroiled in an ironic scandal when a photo of someone’s underwear-clad junk pops up on his Twitter feed. You know something’s funny when the guy can’t even say for certain whether it’s his unit in the photo.
4 ) The federal government does away with the food pyramid and replaces it with a food plate. Personally, I’m waiting for the food uroboros.
3 ) The Rapture is a bust, but the preacher behind the predictions insists that the world will literally go to Hell on October 21. This time for sure!
2 ) Mitt Romney admits to enjoying the “Twilight” novels in a recent interview, then gets the characters confused with the characters on “Lost.” Man, there is a metaphor in their SOMEWHERE…
1 ) Some local sports team heads into some championship playoff thing, and men across the state invest their own self-worth in its outcome. Yes, I do hate professional sports.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.