10 ) Republicans sniff at a tentative compromise deficit reduction plan because it reduces military spending. You know, one of the things that contributed to the deficit.
9 ) The News of the World cell phone hacking scandal hits an almost surreal fever pitch as the whistleblower who outed the practice dies suddenly, one of Rupert Murdoch’s right-hand women gets arrested, and a protester makes a grab for Murdoch himself as he enters a hearing at Parliament. I bet of they weren’t the subject of this mess, Murdoch’s people would be covering this story like nobody’s business.
8 ) Borders finally succumbs and announces plan to begin closing its remaining stores as early as Friday. This saddens me, and yet, I can’t wait to go on a cheap book raid.
7 ) Myra Kraft, wife of Patriots owner Bob Kraft and philanthropist, dies of cancer.
6 ) The Japanese team beats the US for the World’s Cup in women’s soccer. Hey, America: let them have it. It’s the first really awesome thing to happen to Japan all year.
5 ) Boston is ranked in a University of Michigan study as less intelligent as Washington D.C. and less polite as Detroit. Oh yeah? Yeah?! Well, same to you, ya big…pile of…jerk!
4 ) “Captain America: The First Avenger” hits screens, but he’s got an uphill battle against the Harry Potter juggernaut. Wonder if that shield of Cap’s can deflect an avarda kadavera curse?
3 ) The media questions Michele Bachmann’s suitability for the presidency because she suffers from debilitating migraines. Maybe they should question her fitness for nigh office because of her debilitating ignorance?
2 ) A pair of 19-year-olds conduct a “drive-by shooting” with Nerf dart guns on a bunch of construction workers. The workers, unamused by this, chase the teens and corner them. The teens panic, run over one guy’s leg, then drive the car over a brick wall. Knowing the way Massachusetts lawmakers’ minds work, someone will be filing a bill to ban Nerf dart guns within the next few days.
1 ) Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony file for divorce. One of them will get the kids, the other will get their nickname “J-Lorkony.”
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.