10) The Norway massacre. Let’s hope our local pundits and politicians can keep their damn fool mouths shut and refrain from the usual round of finger-pointing and ham-fisted attempts to put it in some sort of self-serving perspective.
9 ) Whoops, too late: Glenn Beck this week alluded to a conceptual connection between the Norwegian political camp for teens and the Hitler youth movement. Please, let there be a Hell so Glenn Beck can burn there for eternity.
8 ) Meanwhile, FoxNews pundits whine that the “mainstream liberal media” (read: anyone not FoxNews) is unfairly portraying the Norway gunman as an extremist Christian terrorist. Now you know how Muslims feel when you pull that routine on them, jerks.
7 ) President Obama and John Boehner hold dueling press conferences to tell America why it’s the other guy’s fault Washington can’t get its act together and fix a problem they all created.
6 ) Western Massachusetts gets slapped around by the weather again. Isn’t Western Mass. supposed to be the boring, uneventful part of the state?
5 ) Amy Winehouse dies amidst speculation that she overdosed — which, if true, would make hers the most ironic rock and roll death since Kurt Cobain sang “I don’t have a gun.”
4 ) Kat Von D’s to-do list: start dating guy with a history of infidelity? Check. Shoot new season of reality show featuring him prominently? Get engaged? Check. Get tattoo of fiance’s face? Check. End engagement just as you’re getting ready to hit the talk show circuit to promote your show? Check. Storm off one show when they mention the break-up? Check. Throw pity party on Facebook? Check. Yup, she covered all the bases.
3 ) When Captain America throws his might shield, Harry Potter goes down at the box office.
2 ) Comic-Con wraps for the year, leaving thousands of geeks drifting aimlessly…at least until “The Avengers” hits screens next summer! WOOOOOO!
1 ) American Idol finalist Crystal Bowersox misses out on closing the Barnstable County Fair, to the delight of Siobhan Magnus fans who accuse Bowersox of stealing the spotlight from the homegrown AI contestant. Let me put this into full context: if you are either one of the two runners-up from a glorified talent show, and you’re getting into a catfight over who has the most right to close a county fair, your non-career is officially so dead your previous flirtation with fame should rightfully be retconned out of existence.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.