The Back From Vacation Edition!
10) Muammar Muhammad Abu Minyar al-Gaddafi is killed by Libyan rebels, prompting US politicians to brainstorm ways to take credit for themselves/deny credit to political opponents/screw up Libya’s attempt to recreate its government in a way that works for its people.
9 ) The number of “Occupy (Insert City Here)” movements continue to grow, almost to the point they outnumber the number of joke “Occupy” movements swamping the Internet.
8 ) Herman Cain continues to top recent polls, passing former Flavor of the Month Rick Perry and even Mitt Romney. Obama assumes the Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation pose and mutters “Excellent…” to himself.
7 ) Alan Khazei drops out of the Democratic primary race for US Senator, citing his inability to raise money in the face of the party-backed favorite, Elizabeth Warren. That’s democracy in action!
6 ) Massachusetts sees its first snowfall of the…autumn? It’s snowing already? Jeez. Yes, please, let’s give the climate change deniers yet another shaky leg to stand on.
5 ) Rick Perry casually tries to resurrect the Birther controversy, remarking that he has to take the certificate as authentic on faith because he’s never seen it personally. He also denied the existence of God because he’s never seen The Almighty in person eith– hey, wait.
4 ) Connecticut State Representative Tim Larson has proposed moving the observation of Halloween to the last weekend of October instead of October 31, claiming it would make life easier on parents, who wouldn’t have to worry about the hassle of taking their kids trick-or-treating on a work/school night. Snark-Infested Waters would like to say in response to this: suck it up, parents. Your parents managed somehow.
3 ) New England Patriot Rob Gronkowski apologizes for gallivanting with porn star Bibi Jones last week. Then he kicks himself for not taking advantage of the situation to give himself a real reason to apologize.
2 ) Organizers of the Occupy Falmouth movement are asking people to come in costume as robber barons for the Halloween protest. Because, as everyone knows, nothing sells an important political message better than cheap theatrics and lousy homemade costumes.
1 ) “Paranormal Activity 3″ wins the box office. A third movie in a trilogy that does well at the box office AND gets strong critical reception? Scary indeed!
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.