10 ) The Pilot, the Boston archdiocese’s official newspaper, retracts and apologizes for an op-ed piece that blames homosexual behavior on the devil. I kind of hope it’s true; it’d be further proof that Hell is going to be a lot more fun and interesting than Heaven.
9 ) Ann Coulter declares conservative blacks superior to liberal blacks, and claimed only conservative African-Americans are subject to racism. Of course, for her remarks to have any weight to them, one has to first believe that Ann Coulter has ever actually talked to a liberal for a point of comparison…
8 ) Bank of America takes a page from Netflix’s book and scraps an unpopular plan — in BoA’s case, to instate a fee for debit card use — after it sheds a bunch of angry customers. Another case where money not just talks, it walks, too…right to another business.
7 ) Rick Perry makes a bizarre, rambling, and yes, girlishly giddy speech in New Hampshire. Perry denies he was under the influence of anything. You know, I don’t have to make fun of this one. Perry does it all by himself. Observe:
6 ) Herman Cain deflects accusations that he sexually harassed two women during his time as head of the National Restaurant Association. He insists that his remarks that he’d deliver in 30 minutes or less and satisfaction was guaranteed were misconstrued.
5 ) Reason #327 why homosexuals aren’t the ones ruining the institution of marriage: Kim Kardashian, who spent $10 million on her wedding to NBA star Kris Humphries — who proposed after dating Kim for only six months — and earned $17.9 million for putting it all on TV, files for divorce after all of 72 days of marriage.
4 ) Republicans give President Obama grief after he misquotes the Bible (the phrase “God helps those who help themselves” is not a Bible verse). What, is the GOP mad that Obama is horning on their shtick? The whole mangling the Bible for political gain? That’s THEIR thing!
3 ) Filene’s Basement goes down for good. If this isn’t a sign that it’s finally time to start my fight club for perspective brides, I don’t know what is.
2 ) Justin Bieber is accused of fathering a secret love child. If proven true, thousands of girls in this country will lose all respect for Justin. The guys, however…
1 ) Lindsay Lohan…hell, I don’t even have to finish this one. I mention her name and everyone knows she screwed up again somehow.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.
When I first suffered through Perry’s, er, speech… I thought pain pills. But maybe not since their leader, Limbaugh, seems to get by ok. Perhaps drunk is right.