Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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The Importometer Reading For November 18, 2011

10 ) The so-called Super Committee is about ready to fail to hammer out a compromise for spending concession to curb the national debt. What? How could they fail? They have “super” right in the name!

9 ) Follow this: 11 of Mitt Romney’s aides from his gubernatorial days purchased the hard drives they used during their days with the Romney Administration and erased countless e-mails from the state server — e-mails that are supposed to be part of public record. The Boston Globe finds out about it, and now Romney’s campaign honchos, thinking Obama’s people called Deval Patrick’s people to have them top off the Globe, want to review all electronic communications between the White House and the State House. Man, the Irony Fairy was working overtime on this one!

8 ) Cities across the nation start ousting Occupy camps, and succeed in bringing the phrase “You damned hippies!” back into vogue.

7 ) Herman Cain discusses Libya in the style of a character in a Pinter play.

6 ) The field of Republican presidential contenders continues its game of musical chairs, with Herman Cain and Rick Perry slipping in the polls and Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich climbing. If this race has proven anything, it’s that even Ron Paul could someday be the lead candidate for president.

5 ) Speaking of Newt Gingrich, someone should tell the dude that if your plan for crippling Iran’s nuclear program is a covert, plausibly deniable operation to assassinate the country’s nuclear scientists, it’s a really, really bad idea to detail that plan during a nationally televised debate.

4 ) The woman accusing Justin Bieber of fathering her child is revealed as a complete scam artist. Perez Hilton gleefully resumes planting rumors of Bieber’s closeted homosexuality.

3 ) Ricky Gervais is asked back to host the Golden Globes, and the collective egos of Hollywood’s elite shrinks in terror.

2 ) “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part One” starts breaking box office records…for “the most people willingly paying to see the penultimate installation of a lame movie saga.”

1 ) How dumb is Congress? At the behest of food producers, it voted to delay health-based changes to federal school lunch programs and determined that the tomato sauce on pizza qualified as a serving of vegetables. Added kicker: tomatoes are a fruit.

The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.

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