Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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The Importometer Reading For February 10, 2012

10 ) Prop. 8 goes down in flames in California. The sad unintended consequence: Massachusetts can no longer boast that it is more progressive than California.

9 ) Susan G. Komen for the Cure buckles under a massive pro-choice backlash and restores grant funding to Planned Parenthood, but it’s going to take a while for the black and blue to fade from SGK’s pink ribbon.

8 ) Mitt Romney crushes Newt Gingrich in the Nevada caucuses, then goes on to say he would yank all government funding for Planned Parenthood. Mitt, you’re sending mixed signals here; am I supposed to like you or not?

7 ) But wait! Rick Santorum smokes Romney in a three-state sweep (two caucuses and a non-binding primary)! This one’s easier: Santorum sucks.

6 ) Bill O’Reilly chides a conservative group for protesting JC Penney over its decision to hire Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson. Wait, I AGREE WITH BILL O’REILLY! Gah! Up is down! Day is night! Dogs and cats living together — mass hysteria!

5 ) Massachusetts receives a federal waiver excusing it from No Child Left Behind requirements. Great, now we can screw up the public education system on our own, like the Constitution says we can!

4 ) The producers of The Jersey Shore hold a less-than-spectacular casting call for their next reality show, Southie Pride. This could almost make folks wistful for the days of the Winter Hill Gang.

3 ) Fickle New England Patriots fans turn on Giselle Bundchen for her post-Super Bowl remarks. Fans apparently liked her better when she was Tom Brady’s silent, opinionless arm-candy. Damned broads, thinkin’ an’ stuff…

2 ) The Parents Television Council has its bi-monthly freak-out, this time over rapper MIA flipping the bird during the Super Bowl Half-Time Show and Madonna’s profanity. The PTC claims the NFL lied to the country when it promised a clean show, but hey, Madonna only claimed there would be no wardrobe malfunctions. Hooray for loopholes!

1 ) Thousands of people in New England experience a bizarre case of selective amnesia. It seems a lot of people are having problems recalling what happened Sunday.

The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.

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