10 ) Scott Brown co-sponsors a bill that would allow employers to deny certain health care coverages based on their own moral and/or religious beliefs. Remember, kids: when I impose my will on your lives, I’m assaulting your basic liberties; when you impose your will on me, you’re following the dictates of your conscience.*
9 ) President Obama loosens a condition on religious employers to provide contraception to its employees — or, as the religious right calls it, continues his assault on faith and life.
8 ) Mitt Romney regains some momentum by taking Maine. Now, if he could only maintain it…but that would be consistent of him, wouldn’t it?
7 ) Whitney Houston is a drug-addled diva with bad taste in men. Oh, wait, she’s dead now. Now the media loves Whitney Houston so much it’s totally forgotten how badly it raked her over the coals in the last years of her active career.
6 ) An atheist Acton family has filed a lawsuit against their school system to have “under God” removed from the Pledge of Allegiance, claiming it discriminates against them. Speaking as an atheist: no, it doesn’t. Just tell your kids not to say that part. Why must you make things so complicated?
5 ) Chris Brown takes on the “haters” who criticized his appearance at the Grammys. Yeah, haters! Stop hating on domestic abusers! Especially if they’re rich and famous!
4 ) Justin Bieber pays an extended visit to a six-year-old fan with cancer, making it nearly impossible for anyone to ever make fun of him again. Well played, sir.
3 ) Joe Kennedy III formally announces his run for Congress. Republicans prepare lame Conan O’Brien jokes.
2 ) “Linsanity” grips the basketball world. The sport hasn’t seen such an epidemic since that bad case of Larry Bird Flu back in the 1980s.
1 ) Apple prepares to unveil its iPad 3. You know what? It doesn’t matter what changes they’ve made to the thing. Meatballs will still be lining up on release day so they can buy one so they can brag to their friends that they spent all day in a line to buy an iPad they’ll only replace next year when iPad 4 is released.
* Stolen shamelessly from my friend Rob.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.