10 ) Virginia pushes a law requiring women to get intrusive ultrasounds before undergoing an abortion and Oklahoma pushes a personhood law. Next up, Alabama will put forth a “Woman, Get in the Kitchen and Make Me a Sammich!” law.
9 ) The Dow hits 13,000 for the first time since May 2008. Who was in office then? Oh, right…
8 ) New Jersey Governor Chris Christie catches flack from veterans for his decision to fly flags at half-staff for Whitney Houston. Hey, Chris! I can name at least one group that will not always love you.
7 ) Gas prices are predicted to hit $5 a gallon by summertime. But no, really, let’s keep talking about important stuff like contraception.
6 ) A sports blog editor gets canned after posting a racially insensitive headline about Jeremy Lin. Lin-sanity indeed.
5 ) A special commission could recommend the dissolution of the Barnstable County Assembly of Delegates. In an unrelated story, a special medical commission recommends the removal of the spleen from the human body.
4 ) WWE wrestler C.M. Punk issues a challenge to Chris Brown to get in the ring to settle their Twitter feud. Personally, I hope this comes to pass and that this is one WWE match that totally isn’t fake.
3 ) Rumors swirl that the Oscars might ban comedian/prankster Sasha Baron Cohen from attending this year’s ceremony. Yes, god forbid anything interesting happen at the Academy Awards.
2 ) Jennifer Aniston gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Her hair gets its star next year.
1 ) Will Farrell presides over Mardi Gras. At last, the man has a GOOD reason to run around in his underwear screaming like a lunatic.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.