10 ) A very skilled writer, reporter, and blogger turns 42 today. In lieu of cake, send Guinness.
9 ) Mitt Romney scores a solid win in Arizona and a thin victory over Rick Santorum in Michigan. I hope Ron Paul sweeps Super Tuesday, because I love watching these guys flail about desperately.
8 ) Rick Santorum said he wanted to throw up when he read a speech by President John Kennedy extolling the separation of church and state. Now Rick knows how all rational people feel whenever he says…well, anything. On a somewhat related note…
7 ) Patrick Kennedy berates Senator Scott Brown for claiming the late Ted Kennedy would agree with him about the freedoms of the Catholic church. Patrick responds by claiming Ayla Brown agreed with him that Taylor Hicks deserved to win season five of American Idol.
6 ) The Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe chooses Taunton as its next date to the casino prom. Sadly, Taunton is not so far away that the tribe can ignore Middleboro’s anguished cries of “But you said you loved ME!”
5 ) “The Artist” wins Best Picture, proving to Hollywood that the best movies are high-budget, star-studded, special effects-heavy blockbusters.
4 ) Davy Jones dies at 66 and a generation goes, “The tentacle-faced guy from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies?” My point is, young people suck.
3 ) Ben & Jerry’s apologizes for its new Jeremy Lin-themed ice cream, which contains pieces of fortune cookie. I think they should really apologize for also putting the fortunes in.
2 ) Lindsay Lohan prepares to host Saturday Night Live. Who better to host a show that no one cares about anymore than an actress no one cares about anymore?
1 ) Snooki of Jersey Shore infamy is pregnant. Argue against making birth control widely available NOW, religious right!
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.