10 ) Mitt Romney scores a solid win in Illinois, keeping alive the notion that the only thing consistent about Romney is his inconsistency.
9 ) At a Rick Santorum rally, Pastor Dennis Terry declares that anyone who doesn’t embrace the idea of a Christian America to “get out.” Just like Jesus said: my way or the highway! No, wait…that was Patrick Swayze in “Roadhouse.”
8 ) Supermarket chains being to purge the meat byproduct known as “pink slime” from its shelves. On behalf of McDonald’s, thank you for freeing up the supply.
7 ) The Mashpee Wampanoag Tribe options land in Taunton for their casino, and the town schedules a voter referendum for June. Great, another summertime town-wide vote. Maybe this time they won’t bake their population in an athletic field (that’s right, Middleboro, I haven’t forgotten or forgiven that experience).
6 ) Temps in Massachusetts hit 80. But yeah, climate change denialists, you keep right on claiming the science in bunk.
5 ) Newt Gingrich slams Robert DeNiro for his joke about America being ready for a “white First Lady,” claiming the actors’ remark “divides the country.” He then dismissed DeNiro as a wealthy elitist who “probably doesn’t notice the price of gas.” DeNiro then revealed he was getting into character to play Gingrich in a new movie.
4 ) “The Hunger Games” is poised for a killer opening weekend, and Fox News is poised to denounce it as a veiled liberal screed against capitalism. Don’t laugh; if Fox would go after the Muppets…
3 ) Speaking of which, the Muppets this week got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, giving fellow inanimate Hollywood mainstay Keanu Reeves hope he’ll someday joint them.
2 ) State Rep. Eugene O’Flaherty announces he will step down from his long-time position as House chair of the Judiciary Committee after getting dressed down in a Boston Globe editorial. Man, if politicians buckled every time the media got on their case, we wouldn’t need term limits.
1 ) Rumors claim “The Jersey Shore” star “The Situation” is in rehab. Wait, which part is the rumor? The rehab part or the part claiming The Situation is a star?
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.