10 ) Rick Santorum wins another Deep South state primary but remains behind in the delegate count. The candidates now head to Wisconsin, which will prove as utterly indecisive in anyone’s campaign as any of the other states have.
9 ) Geraldo Rivera’s remark about a hoodie playing a role in Trayvon Martin’s murder sparks a nationwide backlash. People! Don’t you know that Geraldo is right? All kinds of dangerous people wear hoodies! Convenience store robbers, the Unabomber, D.B. Cooper…and just look at how menacing this dude is:
8 ) The MBTA announces a 23 percent rate hike that is expected to reduce ridership by 5.5 percent…which will reduce revenue, which will force another rate hike, which will reduce ridership…oh hell, just shut the trains down now.
7 ) Newt Gingrich fires a third of his campaign staff. I guess he’s so confident of winning the nomination, he decided he doesn’t need superfluous people like a campaign manager.
6 ) Rick Santorum declares that if Romney wins the GOP nomination, people might as well vote for Obama. At last! Rick Santorum says something sensible!
5 ) Dick Cheney undergoes a heart transplant procedure, prompting every liberal pundit and comedian in the world to make the exact same joke.
4 ) Rob Gronkowski surprises customers of a Foxboro Dunkin Donuts by serving them at the drive-through, proving that the economy is hitting all of us hard.
3 ) “The Hunger Games” smashes box office records. Who knew a movie about kids fighting to the death would be so popular? Oh, right: the Japanese, when they released “Battle Royale” 12 years ago.
2 ) A teaser trailer for the trailer for the second “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” movie hits the ‘net. And, amazingly, contains more story than the actual movie.
1 ) A nearly destitute Nadya “Octomom” Suleman posses nearly nude for a British men’s magazine, bragging about her body and her parenting skills. Apparently, though, not about her firm grasp on reality.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.