10 ) Rick Santorum refuses to drop out of the GOP primary after Mitt Romney’s Tuesday sweep. Self-destruction has never been so fun.
9 ) Former state treasurer Tim Cahill is indicted amidst allegations he misused Lottery funds to bolster his flagging gubernatorial campaign. Another sad case of someone thinking the Lottery will solve all their problems.
8 ) Falmouth Town Meeting voters take contradictory votes on whether to keep the town-owned wind turbines spinning following two nights of debate. Well, glad we could solve that problem once and for all…
7 ) The Big Dig lives on as the state gets ready to undertake $54 million in light replacement surgery in the tunnels. Oh, just rebuild the entire damn thing already! It’ll be cheaper in the long run.
6 ) Sarah Palin swallows her disdain for the “lamestream” media to co-host the Today show. Lesson learned: pride takes second place to a paycheck and bolstering your ego.
5 ) County commissioner candidate Ron Beaty splits hairs over how the Special Commission on County Governance was created. With that kind of skill at creatively interpreting select and incomplete pieces of information, this guy should be running for a federal office.
4 ) James Cameron tweaks “Titanic” after Neil deGrasse Tyson points out inaccurate constellations in the night sky during the climactic sinking scene. Next, Neil plans to fix the first three chapters of the “Star Wars” saga by showing George Lucas all the errors in plotting, dialogue, and characterization (could take a while).
3 ) Keith Olbermann admits he “screwed up” and deserved getting fired from his Current TV gig. Let him tell you more about it in a long-winded, self-righteous monologue.
2 ) A Bellingham school powers to public pressure to restore the word “God” to the lyrics of “God Bless the USA.” It was inevitable, really “Elmo Bless the USA” just doesn’t have the same ring.
1 ) Jaleel “Urkel” White denies that he blew up at his “Dancing With the Stars” partner backstage. Wow, and I thought after starring in “Mega Shark vs. Crocasaurus” he couldn’t sink any lower.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.