10 ) Rick Santorum drops out of the presidential race, leaving Newt Gingrich poised to reclaim his spot as the top whackjob.
9 ) Tax filing deadline! Have you filed? No? Wow, I filed back in February and got my refunds, like, a week later. Nyah nyah nyan, slowpokes.
8 ) Hilary Rosen catches flack for remarking that Ann Romney “has never worked a day in her life.” Romney fires back by noting she raised five boys. Yeah, Hilary! You just don’t make clones and let them run free!
7 ) A new study ties dental x-rays to brain tumors. So, either way, you’re going to have something wrong with your head.
6 ) George Zimmerman launches a fundraising website to help defray living and legal expenses, claiming he couldn’t keep his job in light of the Trayvon Martin shooting. Why, he’s so broke now the only food he can afford to buy, ironically, is Skittles.
5 ) The Miss Universe pageant allows a transsexual contestant to compete. Men, get ready to feel sexually conflicted.
4 ) BP gas stations run low on gas due to decreased deliveries. Wait, why doesn’t BP have any gasoline? Are they running low on crude petroleum or — oh, right.
3 ) CareerCast.com lists newspaper reporter as the fifth worst job in America. D’oh…
2 ) Axl Rose declines an invitation to see Guns-n-Roses inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Dude, come on, it’s not like you have anything better to do.
1 ) Melissa Gilbert suffers a concussion and whiplash during a routine on “Dancing With the Stars.” I bet she saw more big stars than the audience.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.