10 ) Polls show that the Obama/Romney and Brown/Warren races are neck-and-neck. Dammit, that means we’ll have to pay attention!
9 ) An Ohio court rules that a gay high school student is free to wear his “Jesus Is Not A Homophobe” T-shirt in school. If only the school had turned the other cheek…then it wouldn’t have to pay the kid $20,000 in damages.
8 ) The State Senate moves to close a loophole in Melanie’s Law to catch people who admit in court to drunk driving but are not convicted. Whoops, I think I just found another loophole.
7 ) Gas prices drop in advance of Memorial Day Weekend, which on Cape Cod means it’ll cost less to sit in hours-long back-ups and the bridges.
6 ) Newark Mayor and Obama supporter Cory Booker catches serious flack from the Democratic Party for calling attacks on Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital record “nauseating” and “crap.” Booker now holds the world record for the fastest backpedal ever.
5 ) George Lazenby blasts the producers of the new James Bond movie Skyfall for selling out to Heineken, which replaces vodka martinis as Bond’s drink of choice. Critics said a rant from Sean Connery would have been better.
4 ) Mitt Romney wins primaries in Kentucky and Arkansas, beating out — oh, right.
3 ) Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black III. Each ticket comes with one free exposure to the MIB’s memory eraser to help audiences forget about Men in Black II.
2 ) Donald Driver wins Dancing with the Stars, proving you don’t need to be an actual star to win.
1 ) Who sank Battleship? The Avengers, that’s who! Well, that and the mere concept of someone making a Michael Bay-esque action film based on a board game.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.