10 ) The US Supreme Court upholds Obamacare. In unrelated news, staffers talk Mitt Romney off a ledge. Why he went out there, I guess one can only speculate.
9 ) Nabisco draws the ire of homophobes everywhere with its “gay pride Oreo” promo image and threaten a boycott. Good! More Oreos for those who deserve them.
8 ) President Obama gets booed as his own fundraiser in Massachusetts after praising the Kevin Youkilis trade. Guess who just became a swing state?
7 ) The MBTA proposes raising money by selling off naming rights to its T stations. Good thing Lechmere went out of business or things could get REALLY confusing.
6 ) Pundits speculate whether the heroine of the new Pixar film Brave is a lesbian because she doesn’t want to get married and likes physical activities. That’s our standard for spotting lesbians now? I guess it’s a step up from the Birkenstock-and-Indigo Girls stereotype.
5 ) Former gubernatorial candidate Christy Mihos blows off a court hearing on domestic abuse charges. His lawyer claims his estranged wife is trying to gain leverage in divorce proceedings, but come on…it’s not like Christy has money anymore.
4 ) A Libertarian blogger holds a profanity-heavy rally in Middleboro to protest the town’s anti-swearing bylaw, thus proving that freedom of speech has a price. In this case it’s allowing an unfocused doofus to defend the right to free speech in the most clumsy and unconvincing way possible.
3 ) James Cameron announces that he will film three Avatar sequels back-to-back. It was the most efficient way to cater to his titanic ego*.
2 ) Ann Curry is officially ousted from the Today show, making way for a new female co-host who STILL won’t be as interesting as Katie Couric (who wasn’t as interesting as Jane Pauley).
1 ) Charlie Sheen announces that after his new series Anger Management ends, he’s leaving Hollywood. I hear he’s actually being muscled out by Lindsay Lohan so she can assert her position as the industry’s top alcoholic drug-addled imploding former big star who’s squandering her talent.
* = See what I did there?
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.