10 ) A crazed gunman kills a dozen people at a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, prompting politicians to engage in the delicate balancing act of not politicizing the issue while trying to find a convenient scapegoat to blame for the violence (y’know, because blaming the man who pulled the trigger is just silly).
9 ) A recent poll shows that many Americans don’t really care for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney. I’m sure three more months’ worth of caustic negative TV ads will turn that around.
8 ) Chick-fil-a launches a spectacular PR implosion initiative that includes debating Facebook members through a fake account and losing an account with the Jim Henson Company. Lesson here: Chick-fil-a should leave both homosexuals and fictional character alone.
7 ) The Massachusetts SJC ruled that civil unions conducted in Vermont are for all intents and purposes marriages, and therefore must be nullified before someone in a Vermont civil union may be married in Massachusetts. Wait, is this good or bad? I’m confused.
6 ) The Jackson Family becomes embroiled in a feud over Michael Jackson’s estate. The First Rule of Jackson Fight Club is: don’t hit noses. They shatter.
5 ) Former state rep Marie Parente calls local state rep candidate Brian Mannal to the carpet for his rebuttal to her endorsement of State Rep. Demetrius Atsalis. Wait, did this race just get interesting? Wasn’t expecting that!
4 ) Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong joins The Voice. Rgh…Green Day’s credibility falling…but music is so good…
3 ) A 21-pound lobster gets a new home at the New England Aquarium. On a totally unrelated note, the aquarium cafeteria is now selling dirt-cheap lobster rolls.
2 ) Kristen Stewart issues a public apology to her boyfriend, Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson, for her “fling” with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director. Stewart was reportedly so upset and embarrassed her face registered an expression.
1 ) Mariah Carey will make a reported $17 million to serve as a new judge on American Idol. Great! That should be enough to reimburse 20th Century Fox and Columbia Pictures for the bath they took on Glitter ($22 million box office, $5.2 million worldwide gross).
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.