Sorry, folks, I had a busy week last week and couldn’t get to the Importometer, but we’re back and ready to sass.
10 ) Barack Obama and Mitt Romney throw down for the first time. Could someone kindly remind the president to get a nap in BEFORE the debate so he doesn’t nod off DURING the debate.
9 ) US Senator Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren get snippy with each other during their most recent debate. Guess that promise of theirs not to run negative only applies to their ad campaigns. Oh, wait…
8 ) Convicted and suspected criminals start returning to the streets in the wake of the state crime lab scandal. Man, this never happens on CSI.
7 ) Neil Degrasse Tyson refutes the effectiveness of Romney’s proposal to slash PBS funding, comparing it to deleting a few text files from 500 GB hard drive. Say, Neil, you may need to dumb that down a little more so Mitt can understand it…so he can later reverse his position on it.
6 ) Baltimore Ravens center Matt Birk, in an op-ed piece decrying same-sex marriage, remarks: “People who are simply acknowledging the basic reality of marriage between one man and one woman are being labeled as “bigots” and “homophobic.” Aren’t we past that as a society?” Apparently not…nor are we past trying to pass off homophobia as a religious right as a society.
5 ) Bristol Palin declares that her mom Sarah is “way hotter” than Julianne Moore, who portrayed the former Alaska governor in an HBO movie. That’s debatable, but Moore is definitely smarter than Palin. I mean, she knows the nonsense she’s spewing is total B.S. and doesn’t believe a word of it.
4 ) Nicki Minaj threatens to shoot Mariah Carey following a disagreement on American Idol. Where was Nicki when Simon was still on the show?
3 ) The Barnstable County commissioners unveil their master plan to raze Cape Cod by fire, construct a region-wide sewer made of yellow-cake uranium pipes, and force residents to pay for it all through mandatory donations of blood, redundant organs, and first-born children. Or so the wackadoo rumor mill might have one believe — and hey, it’s not like anonymous e-mails have ever presented false information as fact! Amirite?
2 ) Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is tapped to host the Oscars. Expect him to come armed with an unfunny joke referencing a 1980s-era pop culture icon that he’ll repeat a dozen times after it stops being funny.
1 ) Anne Hathaway marries. Nuts, another one I let slip through my fingers.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.