10 ) General David Patraeus’s cheating scandal rocks Washington. Lesson to be learned, potential cheaters: if the head of the CIA can’t get away with it…
9 ) Corporate CEOs start cutting jobs and hours in a pre-emptive response to the financial crisis they insist a second Obama term will bring about. For their next trick, they’re going to point to an odd spike in unemployment numbers in November and cry, “Told you so!”
8 ) People in 20 states, angry over the election results, file petitions to secede from the US. Look, guys, we don’t like you either, but we’re stuck with each other, so let’s all put on our big boy pants, shall we?
7 ) Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash is vindicated after allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy prove false. Nevertheless, comedians across the country wonder if it’s too soon to make crude Tickle Me Elmo jokes (answer: yes it is).
6 ) Retail employees rail against big-name stores planning to start Black Friday on Thanksgiving — an edict handed down by CEOs who no doubt get to enjoy their holidays in peace (and sleep in the next day).
5 ) Jon Bon Jovi’s daughter OD’s on heroin and, amazingly, not one media outlet resorts to a “Bad Medicine” joke.
4 ) Celeb chef Guy Fieri defends his new restaurant against a scathing New York Times review, claiming a critic can’t get a good gauge of a restaurant’s quality within four visits. I agree. I can usually tell if a restaurant sucks after the first visit.
3 ) Channing Tatum is named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year — also known as The Man Who Just Appeared In a Bunch of Movies Without His Shirt On.
2 ) Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez, prompting thousands of adolescent girls to fantasize wildly that they could become the next Ms. Bieber.
1 ) Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 wins rave reviews: “It’s a fairly satisfying wrap-up to a not-very-satisfying series”; “It’s not a terribly satisfactory capper to the Twilight franchise”; “The dialogue remains spotty and sappy, the effects still haven’t caught up to modern-day standards, but Twilight’s popularity is such that even when it falls short, it doesn’t seem to matter”…and these are from the positive critical reviews.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.