The end of the year means it’s time for us media types to start cranking out end-of-year lists as lazy filler since, between December 24 and January 2, everyone is too damn drunk or too deep in a food coma to do anything newsworthy.
And so, here are a bunch of quickie lists that should kill a few minutes, some serious, some less so.
BEST MOVIES I SAW THIS YEAR
1 ) The Avengers
2 ) Skyfall
3 ) Cabin in the Woods
4 ) The Dark Knight Rises
5 ) The Avengers (I saw it five times in the theaters, it deserves two slots!)
FIVE INTERNET MEMES THAT NEED TO DIE
1 ) Anything that begins with “Keep Calm and…”
2 ) Ehrmergehrd.
3 ) Call Me Maybe derivatives.
4 ) The Ryan Gosling “Hey, girl” thing.
5 ) Gangnam Style parodies.
FIVE BEST BOOKS I READ IN 2012
1 ) Mockingjay (Book 3 in the Hunger Games trilogy) – Suzanne Collins
2 ) True Grit – Charles Portis
3 ) Fool – Christopher Moore
4 ) The Naming of the Beasts (Book 5 in the Felix Castor series) – Mike Carey
5 ) Summer Knight (Book 4 in the Dresden Files series) – Jim Butcher
FIVE THINGS OUT TO DESTROY CAPE COD
1 ) Sharks
2 ) Wind turbines
3 ) Wild turkeys (also know as land sharks)
4 ) Wastewater authorities
5 ) …and the people who (allegedly) love them
FIVE EXCELLENT TV SHOWS I WATCHED THIS YEAR
1 ) Doctor Who
2 ) Sherlock (the BBC version, not the Americanized Elementary)
3 ) Supernatural (thank you Netflix for throwing the entire series up on streaming video!)
4 ) The Big Bang Theory
5 ) The Walking Dead (season three, you have so far redeemed season two)
FIVE PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO LOCK INTO A ROOM TO ARGUE TO THE DEATH (or to the pain…I’m not sadistic)
1 ) Sherlock Holmes (the BBC version, as portrayed be Benedict Cumberbatch
2 ) Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie)
3 ) Dr. Sheldon Cooper (of The Big Bang Theory, as played by Jim Parsons)
4 ) Mr. Spock (original Leonard Nimoy version or new Zachary Quinto version, I’m not picky)
5 ) Richard Latimer
FIVE MOVIES I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE IN 2013
1 ) Iron Man 3
2 ) Thor – The Dark World
3 ) Star Trek Into Darkness
4 ) Pacific Rim
5 ) The Evil Dead remake (even though I expect it to pale in comparison to the original)
FIVE AS-YET UNTAPPED ALTERNATE IDENTITIES FOR THE GUY WHO PRETENDED TO BE “VOICES ON WASTEWATER”
1 ) Barnstable County Strike Force Delta-X Mark 2.5 (sounds impressive, doesn’t it?)
2 ) Every Single Taxpaying Voter On Cape Cod and You Can’t Prove Otherwise, Nyah!
3 ) The Cape Cod Coalition for Awesome Alliterative Acronyms
4 ) Enron (hey, they’re not using the name anymore)
5 ) Mike Bailey, reporter for the Falmouth Enterprise
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.
So, what you are actually saying is that some guy named Mike Bailey pretended to be something labelled Voices on Wastewater at some point in time? Is that sort of similar to a Very Ouchie Win?
I see we’re unfamiliar with the concept of satire.