Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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The Importometer Reading For January 11, 2013

The Back From Vacation Edition!

10 ) Beloved Boston TV icon Rex Trailer dies. Happy trails to you, good sir (and yes, I am old enough to remember Rex and Sgt. Billy).

9 ) Alex Jones shows what a fine spokesman he is for the pro-gun movement by completely losing his mind during an interview with Piers Morgan. If the dude feared Brits any more, he’d be a LaRouchie.

8 ) Neil Patrick Harris irks a conservative Christian group for allegedly “promoting the gay agenda” in a Super Bowl ad…in which he appears wearing eyeblack emblazoned with the date of the big game. Sorry, haters, even NPH can’t make eyeblack fabulous.

7 ) Barnstable County officials really really truly honestly swear-to-God promise they’re not going to create a Cape Cod Wastewater Authority and put it in writing. You know who tries that hard to convince people they’re being honest. DIRTY ROTTEN LIARS, that’s who! At least, that’s what the conspiracy goofs are saying, and they’re credible, right?

6 ) The Barnstable Enterprise folds after three years. Farewell and good luck, my comrades.

5 ) Ben Affleck gets snubbed for a Best Director nomination. Hollywood, for how long will you punish Ben for Gigli? And Daredevil? And Jersey Girl? And…okay, maybe he deserved it.

4 ) A new reality series, Southie Rules, prepares to debut and forever ruin what little decent reputation Southie residents have.

3 ) The NHL ends its player lockout and plans a shortened season. Hooray! Condensed boredom!

2 ) Justin Bieber is photographed apparently smoking a joint. He must have finally listened to his own music.

1 ) Octomom Nadya Suleman goes back onto welfare. Who’d have guessed stripping and softcore porn would be unsustainable careers?

The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.

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