10 ) The Obama Administration unveils its package of proposals to stem gun violence, none of which are a suggestion to repeal the Second Amendment and take away a citizen’s right to possess a gun. The NRA responds with, “OH MY GOD THEY’RE TRYING TO TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS!!!”
9 ) Lance Armstrong confesses to Oprah that he used performance enhancing drugs to become a record Tour de France winner. How low can one man sink? Talking to a has-been like Oprah?!
8 ) Governor Deval Patrick proposes several new taxes increases to fund transportation projects. But hey, sales tax might go down, so that’s going to save us money, right? Right?
7 ) Cape Cod receives state money to fund wastewater projects. And now, the translation for the conspiracy-minded minority: The state supports your future subjugation to Big Bureaucracy! You will be crushed under the heel of the all-powerful Cape Cod Wastewater Authority! Tremble before its tax-revenue-fueled might!
6 ) Jodie Foster alludes to her homosexuality in her Golden Globes acceptance speech. Why is she being so coy? I mean, does she honestly want to leave the door open to working with Mel Gibson again?
5 ) Ben Affleck gets pre-Oscar snub revenge by taking home Best Director honors at the Golden Globes. Hoe do you like them apples, Oscar?! (Oh, wait, that was Matt Damon’s line…)
4 ) Arnold Schwarzeneggar makes his return to the cinema in The Last Stand. I love the scene where he converts his walker into a four-barrel 50 caliber machine gun.
3 ) New judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj make their debut on American Catfight. I mean, American Idol.
2 ) Conrad Bain died? Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout?!
1 ) Lindsay Lohan takes to Twitter to chastise Jennifer Lawrence for her “I beat Meryl Streep!” comment at the Golden Globes. Listen well, Jennifer. If Lindsay knows anything, its how to comport one’s self in a public setting.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.