10 ) Barack Obama is sworn in for his second term of office. Let the Muslim Socialist regime begin!
9 ) Happy anniversary, Roe V. Wade! To celebrate I am taking up a collection to buy you a new Supreme Court justice. That Scalia guy is looking old and worn and, well, like a raging douchebag. I’m thinking about picking up something more progressive and open-minded, someone more along the lines of a Thomas or a Bader Ginsburg.
8 ) Rand Paul tells Hilary Clinton that if he’d been President during the Benghazi incident, he’d have fired her. She responded with hysterical laughter, because really, “President Rand Paul”? Yeah, right!
7 ) New Mexico considers a law that would make aborting a baby conceived by rape the crime of “evidence tampering.” If passed, the New Mexico Legislature would also have to register as sex offenders because they too will be rapists.
6 ) Yes, it IS cold enough for me. Stop asking such a stupid-ass question.
5 ) JJ Abrams is tapped to direct the next Star Wars movie and the Internet braces for three years of flame wars among fanboys bickering over how awesome/sucktacular it will be.
4 ) Chris Brown becomes a victim of “swatting,” which involves someone calling in a fake crime report to mobilize the police to a celebrity’s home. To be fair, it’s Chris Brown. He was probably doing something worthy of arrest.
3 ) Beyonce catches hell for lip-synching the National Anthem at Obama’s inauguration. Hey, hey, ease up on her. It was only a second term inauguration.
2 ) A former child actor who voiced Charlie Brown in several cartoons is arrested for stalking. Man, he really does have it bad for that little red-haired girl.
1 ) Wiccans call Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters offensive to their faith. I call it offensive to the entertainment industry.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.