10 ) The region continues to recover from the Blizzard of 2013, a.k.a. Winter Storm Nemo. The Weather Channel continues to fail to realize the irony of its name choice. (Read a book, people.)
9 ) Pope Benedict announces his retirement in February. Great, another special election filled with attack ads.
8 ) Cape Cod finally gets its power back. You know, this wouldn’t be a problem if we all had wind turbines.
7 ) County commissioners and the Assembly of Delegates continue their back-and-forth over which of them needs to be reformed to improve county government. Girls, girls, stop fighting — you’re both pretty!
6 ) A crippled cruise ship makes it back to land, freeing its passengers from days at sea amidst dwindling food supplies and an increasingly overflowing septic system. (Mental note: make pitch to TruTV for new reality show. Working title: Ship Happens.)
5 ) The double amputee Olympian known as the Blade Runner is arrested for murdering his girlfriend. Dude, I know the handicapped can do anything the unimpaired can do, but come on…
4 ) Marco Rubio delivers a dry rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union speech.
3 ) Chris Brown refrains from joining a standing ovation at the Grammys for rival Frank Ocean. Chris was upset that he was beaten. He then promptly failed to grasp the irony.
2 ) A Montana TV station is hacked and broadcasts a zombie attack alert — also known as an ad for “Fox and Friends.”
1 ) Movie critics agree it is in fact NOT A Good Day to Die Hard, which at this point is referring more to the franchise than the John McClane character.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.