10 ) Sequestration! The word nobody knows the meaning of, yet we’re all freaking out over it!
9 ) Pope Benedict has left the building…and gone to another building nearby, which, oddly, is also a church.
8 ) Law & Order: SVU ends a story inspired by Rihanna and Chris Brown’s reunion with the Rihanna proxy killing the Chris Brown proxy. Too bad art doesn’t always imitate life.
7 ) Seth MacFarlane gets mixed reviews for his occasionally ribald Oscar hosting stint, declares he won’t host again. Dude, that decision was made long before you made it.
6 ) The Barnstable County Commissioners and the Assembly of Delegates get into another pissing contest, this time over the lack of a PowerPoint budget presentation to accompany the phone book-sized budget document. Sorry, I didn’t realize that the Assembly couldn’t read something unless it had pictures.
5 ) Ben Affleck’s Argo wins Best Picture, ensuring that no late-night talk show host will ever tell another Gigli joke again.
4 ) Scott Weiland is booted from Stone Temple Pilots again. Fans react: “STP was back together again?”
3 ) The Onion catches hell for a vulgar tweet about nine-year-old actress Quvenzhane Wallis. Congratulations, Onion: people have whined about a joke you told. You are now officially mainstream.
2 ) Critics call nine-year-old rapper Lil Poopy’s saucy videos inappropriate for his age. Yes, because objectifying women is only appropriate for adult men.
1 ) Budweiser is accused of watering down its beer. Like anyone can tell.
The views and opinions in the Enterprise blogs are those of the author and are not neccessarily shared by Falmouth Publishing.