Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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Importometer Reading For August 24, 2012

Friday, August 24th, 2012

10 ) Republican Congressman Todd Akin reveals his shocking lack of knowledge of the female reproductive system by declaring that victims of “legitimate rape” rarely got pregnant because their bodies would block embryo implantation. Akin got this information from several reputable doctors, including Victor von Doom, Douglas Evil, Anton Phibes, and Lester Verde Bong.

9 ) On a related note: after several prominent Republicans condemn Akin and pull both support and funding from his US Senate campaign, the GOP unveils a harshly anti-abortion platform for the election. Wow, they just do not pay attention to themselves, do they?

8 ) A New Hampshire GOP candidate for county sheriff backpedals furiously after advocating the use of deadly force to stop someone from getting an abortion. Cognitive dissonance is apparently as much a part of the Republican platform as crushing women’s rights.

7 ) Cape Wind announces it will base its operations and maintenance facility in Falmouth the same week the Alliance to Protect Nantucket Sound announces it is yet again appealing a positive finding by the FAA. That’s kind of like a bridesmaid showing up to her friend’s wedding in the same dress.

6 ) Lance Armstrong refuses to fight accusations of doping, a move that costs him his seven Tour de France titles and earns him a lifetime ban from professional cycling. Cancer? Easy fight. Allegedly false accusations? Eh, screw it.

5) Director Tony Scott commits suicide by jumping off a bridge. Phyllis Diller dies of a heart attack. Dammit, Betty White, stay alive!

4 ) Curt Schilling, still smarting over the failure of his video game company, calls R.I. Governor Lincoln Chafee a “dunce of epic proportions.” I agree. Chafee should haven never given Schilling money in the first place.

3 ) Mark David Chapman, John Lennon’s killer, is once again denied parole. Paul and Ringo breathe a sigh of relief.

2 ) Turns out rumors of Taylor Swift buying a home in Hyannis were just that. She’s actually buying Hyannis.

1 ) Prince Harry is photographed au naturale in Las Vegas. Let’s just assume I made a joke about the Crown Jewels and move on.

The Week In Politics – August 17, 2012

Friday, August 17th, 2012

We open this week with something from the Credit Where It’s Not Necessarily Due file.

Last week Eric R. Steinhilber, Republican candidate for Barnstable County Commissioner, issued a press release boasting this bold headline: Steinhilber: 1, MWRA on Cape Cod: 0 — The MWRA solution is ‘off the table.’ Steinhilber declares victory.”

What he’s referring to is the recent proclamation by county officials that a Cape-wide wastewater management agency with possible taxation authority, akin to the Metropolitan Water Resources Authority, was not under consideration as part of the county’s wastewater management game plan.

In the press release, Mr. Steinhilber claims that he first “took action” in February when the commissioners formed a working group to examine the wastewater authority proposal. He does not specify this action, which predated his official declaration of candidacy by about a month.

“After months of hard work and advocacy,” he said in the release, “the County Commissioners have heard the calls and have abandoned any plans to support an MWRA-type taxing authority.”

Uhh…what?

I contacted some of the county officials who reviewed this proposal — Commissioners Sheila R. Lyons and William Doherty, and Cape Cod Water Protection Collaborative director Andy Gottlieb — and they portrayed the public push-back against the “MWRA on Cape Cod” concept as limited to a small handful of “usual suspects” rather than a large, broad-based outcry. If anything, they said, most of the opposition they heard came from town selectmen worried more about loss of local control than the taxation issue.

(In the interest of putting the preemptive kibosh on accusations I led the witnesses, so to speak, I asked them about this without ever mentioning Mr. Steinhilber by name; they were simply asked how much negative public feedback they received.)

While Mr. Steinhilber did make the wastewater authority proposal a key issue of his campaign, and his website features a prominent “No MWRA for Cape Cod” section, trying to portray himself as the man who slew this particular dragon is disingenuous. It’s a lame effort to turn the lemon of losing a key platform issue into political lemonade.

Perhaps he did indeed speak with voters about it in his travels, but there is nothing to support the claim that he somehow sparked a significant grassroots anti-wastewater authority movement.

***

James M. Cummings, Barnstable County sheriff, this week endorsed Adam G. Chaprales for US Representative of the Ninth Congressional District. The sheriff issued his endorsement during a brief press event Tuesday, calling Mr. Chaprales “the best candidate to serve as our next Congressman.”

Mr. Chaprales is facing fellow Republican Christopher Sheldon of Plymouth in the primary.

***

US Senator Scott P. Brown (R) will be back in Falmouth tomorrow, August 18 for a fundraiser house party. If you’d like to get in on this event, shoot an e-mail to organizer Larry McDonald at lgm@lawrencegmcdonald.com for details and to RSVP.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

A Tale Of Two Anonymities

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

The anonymous source is a tried and true necessary evil in the journalism world. Anonymous tipsters have been the catalyst behind some of the greatest stories in my life time (Watergate being the most infamous), and reporters have willingly sat in jail cells for weeks and months to protect their sources.

In the Internet age, the concept of the anonymous source has taken on a less glamorous image, because nowadays anyone can set up a blog or fire off e-mails from a fake address and accuse anyone of anything without ever providing a shred of evidence or providing a clue to his or her identity — and the Internet, being what it is, and people, being who they are, are wont to repeat the message as fact without ever checking the source’s or the information’s authenticity.

For that reason, I’ve grown to dislike and distrust anonymous sources. At best they’re spouting easily disprovable nonsense, at worst they’re people with personal agendas who are too cowardly to do their own dirty work and try to get the media to grind their axe on their behalf. Rarely are the sources, their causes, and their desire to remain anonymous valid.

This week, that rare species reared its head in the form of Friends of Falmouth Wind.

The Friends of Falmouth Wind is a group that supports responsible wind development in Falmouth, and the continued operation of the two town-owned turbines. The group recent launched an online petition drive, which the Enterprise learned about via a press release e-mailed from the greatest of friends to the anonymous pot-stirrer, a Gmail account.

Unwilling to take the group at face value (for reasons to be explained), we contacted the group asking for some names. We wanted to make sure this was a legitimate effort and not the work of a lone rabble-rouser looking to throw some stones from behind a curtain.

What we got was a list of seven names — some immediately recognizable, some not — which constituted the core of the organization, along with a request to keep those names confidential “due to legitimate concerns of harassment.”

Now, I’ve heard this reason before from people wishing to remain as anonymous sources: they fear that by speaking out publicly, they expose themselves to retribution. I’ve always viewed that as a cop-out excuse, perhaps biased by the fact that as a reporter, my name is attached to every single thing I write, which means if someone is going to give me hell for writing a less-than-flattering story about them, they know exactly who I am and where to find me.

Besides, lots of brave people speak out against real and perceived injustices every day and escape unscathed (though in fairness I will not speculate as to whether this is the rule or the exception.)

In this case, the fear is real; there have been documented incidents of harassment against people on both sides of the wind turbine debate, ranging from late-night crank phone calls to spamming e-mail accounts with angry diatribes. The emotion here, particularly on the side of the aggrieved residents who claim they’re suffering ill health effects because of the turbines’ noise output, is very raw and tends to promote somewhat uncivilized behavior.

When all factors were taken into account, the call was made to honor the request for anonymity, that call justified in no small way by the fact that we knew the players, and we knew where to get ahold of them if necessary. They were real people and this was a real group.

And then there is Voices on Wastewater, which in an angry e-mailed response to the Friends story, deemed “You, your editor, and your entire newspaper…a bunch of God damned HYPOCRITES!” (“You” meaning me, FYI.)

VOW, formerly the Coalition Against an Undemocratic Regional Wastewater Authority, was formed in February in response to a proposal by the Special Commission on County Governance to create a Cape-wide wastewater entity to implement and oversee a region-wide wastewater management plan. This entity — originally dubbed a “wastewater authority” and later a “wastewater district” — could have taxation powers, and a new bureaucracy that can levy a tax against homeowners is always cause for concern, no matter how noble the cause.

In its initial press release, VOW claimed to be “a Cape-wide group” comprised of 18 “members and interested parties…from the following Cape Cod towns: Wellfleet, Orleans, Dennis, Yarmouth, Barnstable, Sandwich, Falmouth, Bourne and Mashpee. It includes at least 2 environmental engineers, former Selectmen, current selectmen, retirees, housewives, business-persons, community/political activists, real estate professionals, and educators.”

No names were attached to the e-mail, and multiple requests for the identities of these 18 individuals received the following response (when a response was given at all): “The group is presently in its organizational phase. Other than that, we have no Comment about anything. Good day.”

(I later learned that my contemporaries over at the Barnstable Patriot received the exact same response when they tried to find out who was in the group, although they were also told that the anonymity was to avoid “political retribution by the powerful political clique that has formed in support of the recommendations issued by the Special Commission…the allegations [that VOW is a sham organization] are simply an ongoing political strategy by the county officials…in order to try and undermine any and all opposition to their plans”.)

The mystery deepened when, first, I started receiving tips that VOW was not a group, but a front for a single person with a well-established grudge against the wastewater authority/district concept.

Things got even stranger when VOW named names. In March the Coalition Against et cetera changed its name to VOW “after a series of internal votes by its supporters in every town across the Cape.” Three of the listed supporters were the Orleans Water Alliance, Brewster Selectman Jim Foley, and “community activist” Mike Foley of Orleans.

Funny thing: a representative from the Orleans Water Alliance said the OWA “is not affiliated in any way with Voices On Wastewater,” and Mr. Foley said in a brief phone conversation he was not part of the group.

VOW’s response when this was brought to their (his?) attention: “Other than what has already been stated, we have No Comment about anything. Good day.”

Until this week’s finger-wagging, VOW has been all but silent — although I have received a number of e-mails on wastewater-related matters from a series of Gmail accounts that have so far all proven false.

So in the end we have the concept of the anonymous source at its two extremes, one of which illustrates the value and need of anonymous sources that have faith in the integrity of the press, and one that makes the whole idea look shady and underhanded.

What the two groups share is that they’re embroiled in hot controversies that seem to bring out the worst in both sides, and for that reason alone it’s a shame that anyone feels they have to hide their faces. Whether for or against wind turbines or organized wastewater management, proponents and opponents alike should be able to opine freely, without fear that they will be attacked relentlessly and on a personal level.

Raise the tone of the conversations, people. Don’t give anyone a reason to fear speaking their minds.

Importometer Reading For May 18, 2012

Friday, May 18th, 2012

10 ) Massachusetts marks the eighth anniversary of same-sex marriage becoming legal and the seventh anniversary of the giant crevice opening in the earth and swallowing us all for our sinful folly. Oh, wait…

9 ) The jobless rate in Massachusetts shrinks along with utility rates. Wait…good financial news? There must be some mistake.

8 ) After defaulting on a loan repayment to the state of Rhode Island, Curt Schilling asks the state for more money to keep his video game company afloat. Guess government bailouts aren’t so bad when you’re the one asking for them, huh, Curt?

7 ) Donna Summer dances her last dance and dies at age 63.

6 ) Tom Lynch, interim Barnstable town manager, could get the gig full-time, which would disqualify him from serving on the Barnstable County Assembly of Delegates. That’s like telling Beyonce her solo career disqualifies her from ever singing with Destiny’s Child again.

5 ) A poll reveals that half of all Americans regard Facebook as “a fad.” One hundred percent of Americans then posted links to this poll on their Facebook pages.

4 ) Ron Paul announces he will cease active campaigning…perhaps in the hope it will prove a more successful strategy than his active campaigning.

3 ) Sasha Baron Cohen offends Arab-Americans with his new comedy The Dictator. Look on the bright side: at least he doesn’t wear a mankini and nude wrestle a fat guy.

2 ) Skechers settles its class action lawsuit over its ineffective gimmicky athletic shoes. It plans to cover its payout by asking for Kim Kardashian to repay all the money they gave her to promote something as fakey as she is.

1 ) Jennifer Lopez might leave American Idol, making yet another medium she had semi-conquered and abandoned. Next up: kubuki theater.

The Week In Politics – May 11, 2012

Friday, May 11th, 2012

In last week’s rundown of the candidates for district and county offices, I omitted the race for governor’s council of the first district for space reasons. Let’s cover that now.

Not surprisingly, voters are looking at a possible repeat of the 2010 election, when brothers Oliver P. and Charles O. Cipollini, of Marstons Mills and Fall River respectively, ran against each other – by which I mean, they were both candidates and they campaigned, but Charles kept telling voters to support Oliver.

Charles won the election and, like last year, has no primary opponent. Oliver, however, will face off in September against fellow Democrats Walter Moniz of New Bedford and Nicholas D. Bernier of Swansea.

My theory, Cynical Version, is that the general election will come down to Charles and Mr. Bernier, because voters don’t know squat about any of the candidates and will simply vote for whoever appears at the top of the ballot, and “Bernier” comes before “Cipollini.”

My other theory, the Non-Cynical Version, is that Charles will probably square off against Mr. Moniz, who ran in 2010 and got his 2012 campaign ramped up nice and early.

Either way, both those scenarios would better serve the voters than another non-campaign featuring the Not Even Remotely Fighting Cipollini Brothers.

***

The campaign events calendar is looking pretty thin all around, except for Sandwich Republican Thomas F. Keyes, who has a slew of events scheduled for this month and next.

Among the upcoming local events for the state senate candidate: house parties at the homes of Beverly Comeau in Sandwich (May 18), Frank and Andi Keohane in Falmouth (May 30), Ted and Sylvia Wahl in Sandwich (June 3); a reception with Mary Z. Connaughton, former Republican candidate for state auditor, at the Nimrod in Falmouth (June 18); a garage sale (seriously, that’s what it says) at the Sagamore home of Alice Zinkevich (June 23); and a meet-and-greet at Ms. Zinkevich’s home (June 26).

Keep up with Mr. Keyes’ campaign events at www.votekeyes.com/events.

***

Sheila R. Lyons, incumbent Barnstable County Commissioner, is preparing to launch her new campaign website. There’s just a placeholder page there now, but I’ll let you know when the full site is up and running.

One of her opponents, Eric R. Steinhilber, has also launched his campaign website, which already has some content on it.

The third candidate, incumbent Mary L. (Pat) Flynn, does not have a county commissioner-specific website up yet.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

Fact-Check Theater: The Cape Cod Wastewater Authority – Revisited

Tuesday, May 8th, 2012

I’ve already addressed this thorny issue at length once, but now that Eric Steinhilber, candidate for the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, has launched a new campaign website that makes the proposed region-wide wastewater management entity a key issue, I found reason for a brief update.

Mr. Steinhilber makes two remarks about the proposal, the first of which is:

Eric says “NO MWRA for Cape Cod.” Eric will lead the charge against the creation of a Cape-Wide Regional Wastewater Authority, which would burden Cape residents with new taxes and huge water bill increases. Eric will seek the protection of our water resources through the enforcement of existing regulations and common-sense, cost-effective solutions.

The second one, listed under the header of “taxes,” says this:

Eric will fight to stop any and all attempts to impose new county taxes on the families, seniors, and businesses of Cape Cod. Eric will work to protect residents by stopping Cape-wide sewer project proposals, which alone, could cost each homeowner over $60,000 in new taxes.

My earlier post (linked above) addresses comment number one, so I’m going to focus here on comment number two, specifically Mr. Steinhilber’s claim that a Cape-wide sewering project “could cost each homeowner over $60,000 in new taxes.”

Mr. Steinhilber does not cite a source for this figure, which is much higher than other numbers quoted by county officials and consultants in recent months.

Robert Ciolek, an independent consultant working with the Cape Cod Water Protection Collaborative, reported last summer that the capital costs of region-wide sewering would range between $3.2 billion and $5.8 billion – a price range that does not take into consideration ongoing operating costs of $40 million to $68 million each year.

The capital costs alone break down to up to (repeat: up to) $27,000 per person, or $33,000 per property, Mr. Ciolek reported — at worst, a little more than half the amount Mr. Steinhilber quoted.

(However, this assumes that every single property owner on Cape Cod would pay into the capital costs, which Mr. Ciolek said is not the case. According to him, no more than half of all Cape residents – the region’s homeowners – would shoulder the financial burden. He also said that charging betterments on homeowners was not as equitable a system for funding such an infrastructure as through rates and fees for system users.)

So where does this $60,000 figure come from? Mr. Steinhilber appears to be misquoting a figure contained in the Cape Cod Wastewater Protection Collaborative’s April 2010 report comparing the costs of various wastewater management systems.

On page 27, there is a table comparing the various costs of a satellite wastewater management system, which is a system that serves  “from 30 to 1,000 homes (wastewater flows between 10,000 [gallons per day] and 300,000 gpd), intended to treat and dispose of wastewater from one area of a town.”

The estimated capital cost range for such a system is $46,000 to $60,000 — and this is the ONLY time that $60,000 number appears in that entire report.

CONCLUSION

Mr. Steinhilber has it wrong. His claim that “Cape-wide sewer project proposals…could cost each homeowner over $60,000 in new taxes” applies the quoted dollar figure for one type of wastewater management project to a different type. Based on existing analyses, the estimated per-property cost for a regional sewer system is at worst $33,000, while decentralized satellite systems would cost nearly twice as much: $60,000. Further, that amount would not be applied to “each homeowner,” but to fewer than half according to Mr. Ciolek — who does not endorse that funding method.

The Importometer Reading For May 4, 2012

Friday, May 4th, 2012

10 ) The Avengers! The Avengers! The Avengers! Nothing is more important than The Avengers! NOTHING!

9 ) President Obama catches flack for politicizing the death of Osama Bin Laden for campaign purposes. Hey, people, chill. It’s not like he landed on the deck of an aircraft carrier to announce “mission accomplished” on a war that had barely begun.

8 ) Texas sets its sights on Planned Parenthood. Fun fact! Texas has a higher teenager pregnancy rate than the national average. But I’m sure killing Planned Parenthood will fix that up just fine.

7 ) The Middleboro police chief wants to fine people who swear in public. Does the chief know that the term “fascist pig” isn’t a swear word?

6 ) Falmouth Selectman Melissa Freitag chides the media for “controlling the agenda” in response to her decision not to recite the Pledge of Allegiance at a recent meeting. Ironic comment, considering it was her control of the agenda that led to this mess.

5 ) A special county committee prepares its report on the Cape and Vineyard Electric Cooperative — soon to be known by CVEC opponents as “that document that doesn’t accomplish exactly what we wanted it to.”

4 ) A dream home on Nantucket goes up for sale at the cool price of $59 million. Also known as the tax levy on the entire island for the year 2009. Let that one roll around in your brain for a while.

3 ) “The Scream” sells for nearly $120 million. That’s not a scream, that’s a look of complete shock.

2) “Octomom” Nadia Suleman files for bankruptcy and lays out her financial plan for the future, which involves softcore pornography. Sounds like her financial planning is as sound as her family planning.

1 ) A man sues BMW after claiming his motorcycle gave him a chronic erection. BWM motorcycle sales skyrocket.

The Week In Politics – April 27, 2012

Friday, April 27th, 2012

It may be a relatively dry spring so far, but that doesn’t mean there’s no mud to sling.

Two candidates for re-election have come under fire recently for alleged ethics violations. First we have Sheila R. Lyons, incumbent Barnstable County Commissioner, who was been accused by rival candidate Ronald R. Beaty Jr. of accepting campaign donations from individuals who she has interacted with in her official capacity as county commissioner.

First, Mr. Beaty cites on his blog the fact that Ms. Lyons received in December 2011 a $200 donation from Henri S. Rauschenbach, who the county commissioners appointed to co-chair the Special Commission on County Governance.

Important details number one through three: Mr. Rauschenbach was recommended for the special commission by the Cape Cod Business Roundtable, not the county commissioners, who only approved the selection; the donation was made eight months after that appointment; and Mr. Beaty has made his disdain for the special commission very well known and has made a number of efforts to undermine its work.

I’ll also point out that this is a complete 180 from December, when Mr. Beaty publicly showered praise on Ms. Lyons. In an e-mail sent out to Cape media outlets, he called Ms. Lyons a “shining star” and a “pragmatically insightful and pleasant woman who cares deeply about social justice, the welfare of individual Cape Cod residents as well as Barnstable County as a whole.”

Of course, he wasn’t running for Ms. Lyons’ job at the time.

Mr. Beaty further noted that Robert Ciolek, an independent consultant to the Cape Cod Water Protection Collaborative, also donated to Ms. Lyons in 2011 — several months after (I repeat: after) he was contracted by the commissioners to serve as the CCWP’s consultant.

Mr. Beaty claims these donations could constitute legal conflicts of interest, but there’s an important piece missing from this equation: did Ms. Lyons derive direct personal financial benefit? There’s nothing to suggest she did, so unless someone can prove otherwise, the claim here falls flat.

(Not that campaign donations for political favors aren’t a real problem, but it’s important to draw a clear distinction between politics as usual, which is unfortunate, and true graft and corruption, which is despicable.)

Ah, but what about the fact that Ms. Lyons last month received a $75,000 bank loan through the Cape Cod Five Cents Savings Bank, for which Dorothy A. Savarese serves as president — the same Ms. Savarese who sat on the aforementioned Special Commission on County Governance?

Well, unless Ms. Savarese personally signed or pushed through the loan application, the accusation of a conflict of interest is again hollow.

In the case of Mr. Beaty, he appears to be venting his ire at the special commission and its recommendations — specifically to reformat county government and to explore the creation of a regional wastewater management entity — at Ms. Lyons, perhaps in an attempt to undermine her re-election and prime his own campaign.

Problem is, if these charges cannot be proven and do not result in any sort of official sanction by the state ethics commission, Mr. Beaty’s tactic could backfire.

The same could be said for Brian R. Mannal, who is challenging State Representative Demetrius J. Atsalis (D – Barnstable) in the primary. Mr. Mannal last week filed a formal complaint against Rep. Atsalis with the state ethics commission over an e-mail sent by the incumbent.

That e-mail was sent from Rep. Atsalis’s State House e-mail address to Lee Fisher, former lieutenant governor of Ohio, asking if he remembered Mr. Mannal from his and then-Governor Ted Strickland’s 2006 campaign.

Apparently, Rep. Atsalis was trying to clarify Mr. Mannal’s party loyalties, noting that his opponent was involved in President George W. Bush’s campaign in 2000, later got a gig with the state of Ohio under a Republican administration, and remained a member of the GOP until 2004 (Mr. Mannal has openly admitted to jumping ship to the Democratic Party that year).

Rep. Atsalis acknowledged the e-mail, which he called “innocent,” and said he sent it through his State House e-mail account in error.

Here, an ethics violation might not apply because the e-mail did not have any sort of monetary value attached to it, but the Massachusetts Office of Campaign and Political Finance does prohibit the use of public resources such as state e-mail accounts for campaign purposes.

It should be noted that Rep. Atsalis already has one official strike from the OCPF. In June 2011 the OCPF fined Rep. Atsalis $3,125 for “numerous recordkeeping and reporting errors” on his campaign finance statements from 2007, which he failed to rectify by 2010. He was also required to practice strict “enhanced reporting requirements” through 2014 or face an additional $2,500 fine.

This brouhaha has a little more legitimacy to it than the Beaty/Lyons kerfuffle, but I think the voters might like to see a little more debate on the issues in the coming weeks rather than back-and-forth accusations of ethical lapses (especially if there is no merit to them).

***

This coming Tuesday marks the last day for candidates for county and district elected offices to file their nomination papers, and as things stand this week, we’re looking at a rather empty local ballot.

To date only three incumbents have declared opponents: Senate President Therese M. Murray (D – Plymouth), State Representative Randy Hunt (R – Sandwich), and Rep. Atsalis. That leaves State Senator Daniel A. Wolf (D – Harwich) and State Representatives Timothy R. Madden (D – Nantucket), Cleon H. Turner (D – Dennis), and David T. Vieira (R – Falmouth) running unopposed.

There’s also been no buzz for two county seats that are up for grabs this year: the Register of Deeds, a seat currently held by John F. (Jack) Meade, and the Clerk of Courts, now held by Scott W. Nickerson.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Importometer Reading For April 6, 2012

Friday, April 6th, 2012

10 ) Rick Santorum refuses to drop out of the GOP primary after Mitt Romney’s Tuesday sweep. Self-destruction has never been so fun.

9 ) Former state treasurer Tim Cahill is indicted amidst allegations he misused Lottery funds to bolster his flagging gubernatorial campaign. Another sad case of someone thinking the Lottery will solve all their problems.

8 ) Falmouth Town Meeting voters take contradictory votes on whether to keep the town-owned wind turbines spinning following two nights of debate. Well, glad we could solve that problem once and for all…

7 ) The Big Dig lives on as the state gets ready to undertake $54 million in light replacement surgery in the tunnels. Oh, just rebuild the entire damn thing already! It’ll be cheaper in the long run.

6 ) Sarah Palin swallows her disdain for the “lamestream” media to co-host the Today show. Lesson learned: pride takes second place to a paycheck and bolstering your ego.

5 ) County commissioner candidate Ron Beaty splits hairs over how the Special Commission on County Governance was created. With that kind of skill at creatively interpreting select and incomplete pieces of information, this guy should be running for a federal office.

4 ) James Cameron tweaks “Titanic” after Neil deGrasse Tyson points out inaccurate constellations in the night sky during the climactic sinking scene. Next, Neil plans to fix the first three chapters of the “Star Wars” saga by showing George Lucas all the errors in plotting, dialogue, and characterization (could take a while).

3 ) Keith Olbermann admits he “screwed up” and deserved getting fired from his Current TV gig. Let him tell you more about it in a long-winded, self-righteous monologue.

2 ) A Bellingham school powers to public pressure to restore the word “God” to the lyrics of “God Bless the USA.” It was inevitable, really “Elmo Bless the USA” just doesn’t have the same ring.

1 ) Jaleel “Urkel” White denies that he blew up at his “Dancing With the Stars” partner backstage. Wow, and I thought after starring in “Mega Shark vs. Crocasaurus” he couldn’t sink any lower.

The Week In Politics – March 30, 2012

Friday, March 30th, 2012

After suspending his candidacy for Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners earlier this month, citing a health scare, Ronald R. Beaty Jr. of Barnstable is back in the running – and, perhaps, then some.

Last Friday Mr. Beaty issued a press release announcing that he was back in the race. A day later, in a highly unorthodox move, he issued a second release formally endorsing fellow candidate Eric R. Steinhilber – one of his potential opponents in the November primary.

But the oddest turn came a few days before Mr. Beaty re-entered the race, when he sent out a copy of an e-mail from Norah K. Mallam, staff attorney with the Massachusetts Ethics Commission, saying, basically, that there is nothing in the state’s conflict of interests law that would prevent him from simultaneously holding seats on both the board of county commissioners and the assembly.

“The conflict of interest law will not prohibit you from running for and holding two elected positions in the same county,” Ms. Mallam said, but she added that were Mr. Beaty to achieve this feat, he would have to exercise extreme diligence in avoiding instances when a vote as a member of one body has a direct impact on his role with the other.

“For example, if a matter comes before you as the Barnstable County Commissioner involving the amount of compensation that members of the County Assembly of Delegates should receive,” she wrote, “then you would be prohibited from participating in that matter as a Commissioner.”

Mr. Beaty has not made any public statements indicating he does indeed plan to run for both seats, and my advice is to keep it that way. Pick one race and commit to running it.

***

Which is exactly what Andrew Putnam plans to do — if he runs at all, that is.

The Falmouth resident announced this week that he is “strongly considering a run for both the Assembly of Delegates and (for) County Commissioner at this time. I will be announcing on Wednesday, April 11th whether I will run for one of the offices or none at all.”

Here’s hoping that he does run for something. I’m a big fan of giving voters choices and making incumbents work for their re-election.

***

On a related note, the aforementioned Mr. Steinhilber has formally launched his campaign for county commissioner. He held his kick-off event last Saturday in Hyannis.

Notably, both Mr. Steinhilber and Mr. Beaty are going after one of the same targets: the regional wastewater authority proposed by the Special Commission on County Governance – and both men are jumping the gun quite a bit by acting like this authority is a done deal, which it is not.

“Is it the proper role of the County or its newly created authority to have taxation powers to potentially impose billions in new taxes and fees on the already overtaxed, over worked people of Cape Cod?” Mr. Steinhilber remarked at his event, while Mr. Beaty warned that “an autonomous authority would unilaterally seize specific decision-making, fee imposition and taxation powers from the 15 municipalities of Cape Cod regarding wastewater infrastructure issues and/or services. Wastewater/sewer rates and relevant taxes would incessantly go up year after year.”

Readers, be clear on an important point here: no authority has actually been created and none of the details, from its administrative structure to its method of raising revenue, have been sketched out. The special commission made a recommendation, and the county commissioners voted to explore the concept – not to create an authority, not even to endorse the proposal, simply to look into it.

Mr. Beaty and Mr. Steinhilber are straying into the realm of fearmongering, which might make for good campaign sound bites but it also hampers a serious, honest discussion about what is undeniably a thorny issue for all of Cape Cod. They need to dial down the rhetoric and stick to the facts.

For a more in-depth analysis of this issue, check out this installation of Fact-Check Theater.

***

Finally, another Democrat has entered the race for US Senate: Eno Mondésir, a public health practitioner, self-published author, and ordained minister from Randolph.

Learn more about the candidate at his official website, and don’t be surprised if that’s the only place you can learn more about him. Mr. Mondésir is one of three Democrats who isn’t Elizabeth Warren, and if you’re not Elizabeth Warren, you’re as good as invisible to the big city media.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

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