Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Subscribe  |  Share    |  Print

Follow me on Facebook

Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

The Importometer Reading For February 24, 2012

Friday, February 24th, 2012

10 ) Virginia pushes a law requiring women to get intrusive ultrasounds before undergoing an abortion and Oklahoma pushes a personhood law. Next up, Alabama will put forth a “Woman, Get in the Kitchen and Make Me a Sammich!” law.

9 ) The Dow hits 13,000 for the first time since May 2008. Who was in office then? Oh, right…

8 ) New Jersey Governor Chris Christie catches flack from veterans for his decision to fly flags at half-staff for Whitney Houston. Hey, Chris! I can name at least one group that will not always love you.

7 ) Gas prices are predicted to hit $5 a gallon by summertime. But no, really, let’s keep talking about important stuff like contraception.

6 ) A sports blog editor gets canned after posting a racially insensitive headline about Jeremy Lin. Lin-sanity indeed.

5 ) A special commission could recommend the dissolution of the Barnstable County Assembly of Delegates. In an unrelated story, a special medical commission recommends the removal of the spleen from the human body.

4 ) WWE wrestler C.M. Punk issues a challenge to Chris Brown to get in the ring to settle their Twitter feud. Personally, I hope this comes to pass and that this is one WWE match that totally isn’t fake.

3 ) Rumors swirl that the Oscars might ban comedian/prankster Sasha Baron Cohen from attending this year’s ceremony. Yes, god forbid anything interesting happen at the Academy Awards.

2 ) Jennifer Aniston gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Her hair gets its star next year.

1 ) Will Farrell presides over Mardi Gras. At last, the man has a GOOD reason to run around in his underwear screaming like a lunatic.

The Week In Politics – February 24, 2012

Friday, February 24th, 2012

 

Busy week this week, so let’s get to it!

Robert A. O’Leary has put an end to weeks of speculation and announced that he will not take another shot at Congress.

Mr. O’Leary, a former Barnstable County commissioner and State Senator of the Cape and Islands District, ruled out a re-match against Congressman William R. Keating (D) because of the heavy financial cost of running a Congressional campaign.

“It was painful to make this decision,” Mr. O’Leary said in a statement released last week.

Rep. Keating and Mr. O’Leary faced off in 2010 for the Democratic nomination, and Rep. Keating eked out a win with 51 percent of the vote.

With Mr. O’Leary officially out, the field of candidate for the Ninth Congressional District remains at four confirmed candidates: Rep. Keating; Democrat C. Samuel Sutter, Bristol County’s district attorney; Plymouth Republican Christopher Sheldon; and non-party candidate Peter A. White of Mashpee.

***

On another Keating-centric note, Rep. Keating last week picked up another early union endorsement, and it’s a big ‘un: the Massachusetts AFL-CIO has not only given the freshman Congressman its official thumb’s up, AFL-CIO President Steven A. Tolman said returning Rep. Keating to office was “one of our top priorities.”

***

Looking more locally, County Commissioners Mary L. (Pat) Flynn of Falmouth and Sheila R. Lyons of Wellfleet last week informed me personally that they would both be running for re-election this year.

That brings us to a field of three candidates for two spots on the board, the third being non-party candidate Ronald K. Beaty Jr. of Barnstable. I’ve heard chatter about a potential Republican candidate, who has taken out papers but has not made any formal announcements, so that’s not yet a done deal.

***

Also not a done deal, but close to it: Hyannis attorney Brian Mannal has announced plans to challenge seven-term State Representative Demetrius J. Atsalis (D – Barnstable) — in the primary!

Mr. Mannal was born in Centerville, moved to New Mexico with his family as a child, and returned to his hometown to raise his family. He briefly worked for former Milford state rep Marie J. Parente and for George H.W. Bush’s campaign in 2000.

This could be a very interesting contest. Rep. Atsalis has had only one serious challenge during his time in the Legislature: his 2002 race against Ann B. Canedy, which he won by a mere 101 votes. Could a fellow Democrat succeed where many Republicans have failed?

***

I’m going to change Thomas F. Keyes’ name to Thomas F. Tease.

The Sandwich Republican has, since losing his 2010 race against Senate President Therese M. Murray (D – Plymouth), suggested through occasional e-mails that read very much like campaign position papers and a couple of fundraisers that he would mount a second challenge this year.

This week Mr. Keyes sent out to supporters a link to this video:

http://youtu.be/Db-1IkeIWpw

Please note that he doesn’t specify whether he means he plans to run again or refund the donations…although — and here’s your free grammar lesson for the day, Tom — the way he phrases his announcement makes it sound like he’ll be returning everyone’s money.

I somehow think that isn’t what he’ll announce next month, but we’ll all find out together, won’t we?

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Week In Politics – February 17, 2012

Friday, February 17th, 2012

The unseasonably warm weather lately has apparently thrown everything out of whack: Nantucket is reporting premature cherry blossoms, Falmouth saw its first herring heading in to spawn, and we already have our first political endorsement.

1199SEIU, the largest union for health care workers on the Cape and Islands and the South Shore region, last week issued a formal endorsement for Congressman William R. Keating (D), who will be running for re-election.

Aside from Rep. Keating, the field of candidate for the Ninth Congressional District includes fellow Democrat C. Samuel Sutter, Bristol County’s district attorney, Plymouth Republican Christopher Sheldon, and non-party candidate Peter A. White of Mashpee.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Week In Politics – February 10, 2012

Friday, February 10th, 2012

After several weeks of will-he-or-won’t-he-tinged press releases, Ronald R. Beaty Jr. of West Barnstable announced this week he will – run for the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, that is.

In a press release Mr. Beaty said he has pulled nomination papers and is now out and about collecting signatures. The self-described “fiscal conservative/social progressive” is running as a non-party candidate, meaning he skips over the primary race phase and, assuming he collects enough signatures, will be on the November general election ballot.

The two seats currently held by Mary L. (Pat) Flynn of Falmouth and Sheila R. Lyons of Wellfleet are up for grabs this year. There have been no official announcements from either commissioner whether they will run for re-election.

Mr. Beaty in his announcement made much ado about the fact he had signed a Citizens for Limited Taxation “Taxpayer Protection Pledge,” but those things are worthless as far as I’m concerned. Pledges, like campaign promises, have a habit of falling by the wayside when certain cold realities hit a lawmaker square in the face.

The real key here will be if Mr. Beaty, who has turned himself into something of a scholar of county government, can parlay that knowledge into a viable campaign platform that overcomes his lack of political experience. According to the man himself, his only forays into the world of elected office are two unsuccessful runs for the Barnstable County Assembly of Delegates.

The other issue for Mr. Beaty – and I’ve broached this topic before – is his criminal background. In 1991, Mr. Beaty spent time in prison after he was convicted of sending threatening letters to President George H.W. Bush, US Senator Edward M. Kennedy, and then-State Senator Lois Pines.

Mr. Beaty, who is seeking a presidential pardon for those offenses, called that episode in his life “mainly a terrible lapse in judgment” brought about by an alcohol problem he has since overcome.

Whether this truly matters will be, and should be, up to the voters, but I’ll give credit where it’s due: the man has been very open and forthright about this skeleton in his closet, which is a whole hell of a lot more than what we’ve seen from some of our politicians.

Anyone who would like to read up on Mr. Beaty and his background, head on over to my blog and look up the Week in Politics columns for December 16 and 23, 2011.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Importometer Reading For February 10, 2012

Friday, February 10th, 2012

10 ) Prop. 8 goes down in flames in California. The sad unintended consequence: Massachusetts can no longer boast that it is more progressive than California.

9 ) Susan G. Komen for the Cure buckles under a massive pro-choice backlash and restores grant funding to Planned Parenthood, but it’s going to take a while for the black and blue to fade from SGK’s pink ribbon.

8 ) Mitt Romney crushes Newt Gingrich in the Nevada caucuses, then goes on to say he would yank all government funding for Planned Parenthood. Mitt, you’re sending mixed signals here; am I supposed to like you or not?

7 ) But wait! Rick Santorum smokes Romney in a three-state sweep (two caucuses and a non-binding primary)! This one’s easier: Santorum sucks.

6 ) Bill O’Reilly chides a conservative group for protesting JC Penney over its decision to hire Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson. Wait, I AGREE WITH BILL O’REILLY! Gah! Up is down! Day is night! Dogs and cats living together — mass hysteria!

5 ) Massachusetts receives a federal waiver excusing it from No Child Left Behind requirements. Great, now we can screw up the public education system on our own, like the Constitution says we can!

4 ) The producers of The Jersey Shore hold a less-than-spectacular casting call for their next reality show, Southie Pride. This could almost make folks wistful for the days of the Winter Hill Gang.

3 ) Fickle New England Patriots fans turn on Giselle Bundchen for her post-Super Bowl remarks. Fans apparently liked her better when she was Tom Brady’s silent, opinionless arm-candy. Damned broads, thinkin’ an’ stuff…

2 ) The Parents Television Council has its bi-monthly freak-out, this time over rapper MIA flipping the bird during the Super Bowl Half-Time Show and Madonna’s profanity. The PTC claims the NFL lied to the country when it promised a clean show, but hey, Madonna only claimed there would be no wardrobe malfunctions. Hooray for loopholes!

1 ) Thousands of people in New England experience a bizarre case of selective amnesia. It seems a lot of people are having problems recalling what happened Sunday.

The Importometer Reading For February 3, 2012

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

10 ) Mitt Romney wins the Florida primary — or, as Newt Gingrich looks at it, Newt Gingrich won Florida if you ignore Mitt Romney.

9 ) Susan G. Komen for the Cure takes a huge P.R. hit by withdrawing financial support for Planned Parenthood amidst pressure from pro-life groups. Sure, because scaling back on cancer screenings for low-income women is TOTALLY pro-life.

8 ) Facebook prepares to launch a massive IPO that could rake in billions. I don’t think there’s a “Like” button in the world large enough for Mark Zuckerberg.

7 ) Don Cornelius, creator of “Soul Train,” takes his own life at age 75.

6 ) Donald Trump threatens to run for president as an independent, even though he claims he doesn’t really want to be president. Why don’t you follow that instinct, Don?

5 ) Suzanne Collins’ “The Hunger Games” is back on best-seller lists thanks to the upcoming movie. Uh, should I be happy people are reading a good book, or mad that it took the promise a movie to make them do it?

4 ) Legendary British horror factory Hammer Studios returns from the dead with “The Woman in Black” starring Daniel Radcliffe. Spoiler: the titular woman is actually Voldemort in drag.

3 ) Governor Deval Patrick signs a new two-book deal, the second of which will be an e-book “response” to reader feedback from the first. Wow, I wish I could make money off of people complaining about stuff I wrote. I’d be rolling in cash.

2 ) American Idol judges were blown away by a Britney Spears look-alike at a recent audition stop. Then they realized it actually was Britney Spears.

1 ) The Super Bowl is this Sunday, which means on Monday people across New England will either be boasting that “we” won the game or will be conveniently denying that Sunday ever happened.

The Week In Politics – February 3, 2012

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

In 2010, I regularly expressed surprise that the race for governor’s councilor of the first district got so much attention.

A total of seven people — five Democrats and two Republicans — ran for the seat two years ago, and one of those Democrats is back for another shot: Walter Moniz of New Bedford, who was in Yarmouth last week to kick off his campaign.

According to a press release, Mr. Moniz has remained active since 2010 election building a support base in the first district, so he sounds very serious about winning this year.

The seat is currently occupied by Republican Charles O. Cipollini of Fall River, who won a rather odd race. His brother, Oliver P. Cipollini Jr. of Marstons Mills, was the Democratic nominee, and Charles openly declared that he wasn’t really interested in winning and voters should back Oliver. They didn’t.

(My theory? No one knows jack about the governor’s council, so they just voted for the guy whose name was listed first on the ballot.)

***

State Representative David T. Vieira (R – Falmouth) confirmed this week he plans to run for re-election, and he has a fundraiser coming up later this month.

The Lincoln Day Dinner is on Friday, February 12 at The Nimrod in Falmouth, with cocktails at 6 PM and dinner at 6:30 PM. The evening will include dancing and a roast of the host, so if you’ve ever wanted to insult the rep in a public setting (good-naturedly, of course), now’s your chance!

Tickets are $50 apiece, and you can grab those by contacting Addie Drolette at 508-540-6727 or msaddied@hotmail.com.

***

Since it’s a light week, let me take a moment to enlighten readers about some terminology they’ll see in this column from time to time.

Candidates who do not belong to what Massachusetts recognizes as a political party — Democrat (D), Republican (R), and Green-Rainbow (which, counter-intuitively, is noted as (J) on official documents) — and who do not claim affiliation with any of the 22 “political designations” recognized by the state, will be referred to in this paper as a “non-party” candidate.

In the past such candidates have been referred to as “unenrolled,” the preferred term of the Massachusetts Secretary of the Commonwealth’s Office, but in the 2010 election cycle the office began to shift toward the term “non-party” due to complaints that “unenrolled” made people sound like they’re not registered as voters.

The office does not use the term “independent” when describing non-party candidates, in order to avoid confusion with the Massachusetts Independent Party or the American Independent Party — which, despite having “party” in their names, are only political designations as far as this state is concerned.

Addendum one: in Massachusetts, a political entity must receive three percent of the total vote in a state election in order to be recognized as an official party in the next state election, otherwise they are classified as a political designation. The main difference: parties have primaries, designations do not.

Addendum two: non-party candidates may choose the label “independent” to place next to their name on ballots instead of the tags “unenrolled,” “non-party,” or “minor party.” There is a bill in the Legislature that could change that and make “independent” the default label for non-party candidates, while another bill – filed by our own State Representative Demetrius J. Atsalis (D – Barnstable) would make “no party affiliation” the default ballot label.

Addendum three: among the more amusing recognized political designations in Massachusetts: the Pirate Party and the Pizza Party…and no, I did not make up either of those names.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Week In Politics For January 27, 2012

Friday, January 27th, 2012

The race for the new Ninth Congressional District is heating up in earnest (sure glad something around here is warm).

This month alone Democrat C. Samuel Sutter, the Bristol County DA, has announced the formation of an exploratory committee and could challenge the de facto incumbent William R. Keating (D) for the primary nomination; and non-party candidate Peter A. White of Mashpee announced he was abandoning his bid for US Senate to run for the Ninth.

Now let’s welcome to the race our first official Republican, Christopher Sheldon of Plymouth, businessman and member of the Plymouth County Charter Study Commission. This is, according to his official bio, his first run for public office, but he has served as a campaign manager for MaryAnne Lewis, who ran as a non-party candidate for the soon-to-be-retired 10th Congressional District in 2010.

“Like many from the South Shore, South Coast, Cape and Islands, I am very concerned about the direction of our country, and especially our economy,” Mr. Sheldon said in a press release announcing his candidacy. “I believe in the American dream and I believe that, if we start now, there is still time to get our nation back on track.”

Mr. Sheldon is pitching the “we need new blood” angle and calling for an ouster of the career politicians in Washington, as well as an end to partisan bickering — two points I can totally get behind, personally.

The candidate plans to formally kick off his campaign on March 20.

***

Republican Thomas F. Keyes, the not-quite-official candidate for State Senate of the Plymouth and Barnstable District, is holding a meet-and-greet on Sunday, February 4. That will be held at the Trowbridge Tavern & Canal Club in Bourne from 7 to 9 PM.

The evening will feature the music of Andrew Botieri and a silent auction to benefit Mr. Keyes’ campaign. Donations of any amount are also welcome.

To RSVP or for more information, call Agatha Bodwell at 774-208-3480 or e-mail her at events@votekeyes.com.

(PS: Tom. Dude. It’s pretty obvious you’re running again. Make a formal announcement already.)

***

Regardless of what anyone thinks of either US Senator Scott P. Brown (R) or Democrat Elizabeth Warren, you have to appreciate their willingness to play fair…or, at least, as fair as you can in the political world.

This week Sen. Brown and Ms. Warren signed onto a pledge to actively condemn any negative ad campaigns funded by third-party sources, and to personally shoulder the penalty for an infraction by an outside organization. Each candidate has promised to donate to charity 50 percent of the cost of any third-party ad that explicitly supports their own candidacy or attacks their opponent by name.

Sadly, there’s one potentially crippling flaw in this pledge: the political action committees (PACs) responsible for the mudslinging ads don’t have to honor it; legally, the candidates have no control over these PACs or the ads they put out, so don’t be surprised if the overall negativity does not subside to any appreciable degree.

Ironic postscript: as I was writing this, the pro-Republican PAC American Crossroads (Karl Rove’s group) sent me an e-mail claiming that all the loopholes in the agreement are totally Warren’s fault. Way to embrace the message, guys.

Political news and announcements may be e-mailed to Michael Bailey, senior political reporter, at bailey@capenews.net.

The Importometer Reading For January 27, 2012

Friday, January 27th, 2012

10 ) Newt Gingrich has a great week in South Carolina, winning that state’s primary after making everyone forget about his craptacular morals by blaming his own weak will on the media at last Thursday’s debate.

9 ) Gabrielle Giffords announces she plans to retire from Congress to focus on recovering from a near-fatal gunshot wound to the head. What does it say about Congress when a member with a severe head injury has more integrity than most of her colleagues?

8 ) Mitt Romney releases his tax returns, which reveal a 15 percent tax rate on more than $42 million he earned over the course of two years. Hmmm…do I go with the “I guess corporations ARE people” joke or mock Mitt’s insistence that he’s a regular guy? Either way, I’ve still got more good choices than the entire field of Republican candidates.

7 ) Joe Paterno dies with the Penn State sex scandal unresolved. I thought he didn’t like quitters…

6 ) The Republican primary heads to Florida and the candidates get to work trying to stand out from all the other old white men…in the state, I mean, not the race.

5 ) Michele Bachmann predicts that safe, legal abortion in the US will end following the November election. Don’t worry, pro-choicers; she also predicted she’d win the presidency.

4 ) Pat Sajak admits he has hosted Wheel of Fortune while drunk. He says he drank in an effort to bring his intellect down to the level of the average Wheel of Fortune contestant.

3 ) A boat that sank off the coast of Nantucket three years ago washes up in Spain. The Spanish are now holding the ship hostage until we return at least one of its many sunken galleons.

2 ) For the first time, a Pixar release fails to earn a spot in the Oscar’s Best Animated Feature category. I’d say Steve Jobs is spinning in his grave, but I don’t feel like getting lambasted by a bunch of rabid Apple loyalists for daring to besmirch the great Jobs (seriously, Apple Zombies be crazy!).

1 ) Thousands of New Englanders find a new source of self-worth and personal achievement after some guy muffs a field goal kick. Estimated duration of this illusion: one more week. Two, if the Patriots win the Super Bowl.

The Importometer Reading For January 20, 2012

Friday, January 20th, 2012

10 ) Days after boldly declaring his campaign had been given a “ticket to ride” by New Hampshire voters, Jon Huntsman withdraws from the Republican primary race to clear the way for Mitt Romney. How nice of him to spare voters the tedious chore of making up their own minds.

9 ) And then there’s Rick Perry, who dropped out Thursday and gave his support to Newt Gingrich…in the form of a lightweight aluminum scaffolding to prop up Newt’s giant bobblehead.

8 ) A state panel finds no evidence that wind turbines cause illness. Residents claiming turbines make them sick disagree. And round it round it goes, in circles, around and around and…oy…I feel suddenly nauseated. Omigod — wind turbines DO make you sick!

7 ) The first major snowstorm of 2012 is on its way. Or not. Look, no matter what happens, we can all agree: it’s the weathermen’s fault.

6 ) Rumors fly that Rihanna has been seeing abusive ex Chris Brown on the sly. I hope this rumor proves true, but only if it also includes the phrase “to savagely pummel Brown with a cricket bat.”

5 ) Mark Walhberg inserts his foot into his mouth and swallows up to the knee when he declares how he would have handled things were he on-board one of the planes that got hijacked on 9/11. Sorry Mark, no re-takes in real life. This one goes on your permanent blooper reel.

4 ) Newt Gingrich’s former second wife claims that Newt asked for an open marriage. Jeez, lady, you should have taken him up on it. It’s not like you couldn’t have done WAY better.

3 ) A head in a bag is found near the famed “Hollywood” sign. It later sold the rights to its story to Paramount.

2 ) “American Idol” returns for another season of turning complete nobodies into highly recognized nobodies (Come on, this show’s been on for more than a decade and it’s produced only two big stars. That’s a lousy average).

1 ) The Patriots won some kind of important-ish game, now they’re getting ready to play another important-ish game. I guess the only difference is that the second game doesn’t have a really religious guy playing quarterback.

Other blogs

Follow us on Facebook

Advertisement