Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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Archive for the ‘Reality Check’ Category

Suggested Rules of Online Etiquette for Responding to the Boston Marathon Bombing

Tuesday, April 16th, 2013

As a public service to Internet users everywhere, Snark-Infested Waters would like to offer these handy tips for how to behave online in the coming days and weeks when discussing what happened yesterday at the Boston Marathon.

1 ) Don’t joke about it. Period.

Yes, it IS too soon. It will be too soon for a long time. Humor is a coping mechanism, a stress reliever, a way to deal with unfathomable circumstances, and sure, one day we will be able to crack wise about this terrible event, but today is not that day.

2 ) Don’t politicize it.

People will inevitably try to lay some degree of blame for this on social condition X or political issue Y or government leader Z. Don’t be one of those people (known colloquially as “callous opportunistic jackasses”). The blame belongs one place only, and that is on the person or persons who did this. Using this as an opportunity to advance a selfish agenda is a slap in the face to everyone directly and indirectly involved in this tragedy.

Addendum the first: sarcastic remarks like “I can’t wait until so-and-so tries to blame this on such-and-such” is passively aggressively politicizing it. This is also obnoxious, perhaps more so. Don’t do it.

Addendum the second: using this situation as a springboard to go completely off-topic (“You know what’s worse than bombs? Wind turbines!”) is the height of self-centered arrogance. Knock it off.

3 ) Don’t compare tragedies.

Boston is now, and for lots of people it has very personal meaning. Don’t diminish or disrespect those feelings by sniffing that Boston isn’t as tragic as 9/11, Columbine, Newtown, et cetera. This isn’t a contest. All tragedies are valid, and claiming that this somehow does not measure up to (insert other tragic event here) is cold and soulless.

4 ) Exercise restraint in re-posting news stories.

This will be the focus of the local and national news for the week, and we will be inundated by information. There’s little need to constantly re-post every single news story. People who want information have plenty of places to get it, and they don’t need help from amateur news aggregators.

Also, if you must re-post things, fact-check anything that isn’t from a reputable news source first. Repeating wrong information helps no one.

5 ) People process things differently.

Let them, and don’t give them a hard time because they seem to be, from your perspective, over- or under-reacting. The degree to which one reacts, or doesn’t, is not necessarily indicative of an abundance or a lack of emotion on the matter. Dealing with tragedy is a very personal and subjective thing, and it’s not really your place to judge someone for not responding how you think he or she should.

6 ) Save your advice for how this could have been avoided/can be avoided in the future.

Telling people how you’d do things differently is not helpful. It really isn’t. It’s not going to change the past and, unless you are actually a public safety official, sharing your sage knowledge born of hindsight isn’t going to do a damned thing to prevent something like this from reoccurring.

7 ) Don’t mistake re-posting uplifting images for a real contribution.

Yes, sharing positive images with your Facebook friends might raise morale, for yourself and others, but there are real people in Boston hospitals who need blood much more than a feel-good meme. There will be people who will need money to offset medical costs or, unfortunately, funeral arrangements. Make a real donation to those who truly need it if you want to do some measurable good.

8 ) Avoid comments sections.

Seriously, stay away. They’re going to be filled with, as best, benign sentiments aimed at the victims of the bombings and, at worst, people the above-listed rules. Getting into debates with them are not productive and will only enhance any existing feelings of anger and frustration. When you reach the bottom of the page, stop reading before the comments section begins and move on.

News From The Medical World: Romnitis

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

ATLANTA, GEORGIA – There’s a new epidemic spreading among the wealthy, and in olden days it might have been called foot-in-mouth disease, but today it was dubbed by the US Centers for Disease Control “Romnitis.”

“We’re seeing the leading edge of what could become a serious pandemic,” said Dr. Emil Moss, the CDC’s leading specialist on emerging communicable diseases. “If there’s a silver lining here, it’s unlikely to spread beyond a very small segment of the population.”

That small segment is the nation’s so-called “one percent,” the top earners in the U.S.

Dr. Moss hypothesized that the disease takes root in the brain’s right hemisphere and frontal lobe, which controls reasoning, problem-solving, and judgment, and impairs the individual’s ability to make logical connections on the topic of personal finances. The primary symptom is the spontaneous utterance of statements lacking in perspective on money matters; a sufferer of Romnitis seems incapable of distinguishing between his own financial status and those of lower-income individuals.

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney of Massachusetts, for whom the ailment has been named, has not been officially diagnosed with Romnitis, but Romney has several times manifested symptoms, most recently during a campaign stop in Detroit, where he commented to a group of supporters that he and his wife Anne own between them four cars, two of them Cadillacs.

Later, when responding to a reporter’s question about his NASCAR-watching habits, he stated that he was not a fan himself, but was friends with several NASCAR team owners.

Last year during a debate, he also made his now-infamous $10,000 challenge to Texas Governor Rick Perry, and later blithely remarked that the $374,327 he collected that year in speaking fees was “not very much.”

Romney’s speaking fee income is roughly eight times the national median income.

Evidence that Romnitis was starting to spread emerged today in a Bloomberg story about Andrew Schiff, director of marketing for broker-dealer Euro Pacific Capital Inc., who expressed concern about his ability to make ends meet on his $350,000-a-year salary in the face of a reduced annual bonus.

“Schiff is as close to a textbook example of Romnitis as you can get,” Dr. Moss said. “This is a man who owns a 1,200-square foot duplex in New York City and a a summer home in Connecticut, sends his daughter to a $32,000-a-year private school, and plans to send his son to the same school in the near future, and there he was complaining, ‘I don’t have a dishwasher. We do all our dishes by hand’.”

That same story also featured Richard Scheiner, who works for New York-based hedge fund Lane Gate Partners LLC, who spoke of his selling two motorcycles to better afford garaging fees for his two Audis and $17,000 in assorted costs for his two dogs.

“This is a man who griped that his Porsche was ‘the Volkswagen of supercars’ at a time when eight percent of Americans are out of work and wondering if they’ll have money for food and rent next month,” Dr. Moss said. “I’d call that a very severe case of Romnitis.”

Even before Romney manifested symptoms, Dr. Moss said there were early hints of a brewing pandemic, referring to Louisiana Rep. John Fleming, who told media outlets how hard it was feeding his family on $400,000 a year and dismissed critics as inciting “class warfare”; and to the he Parnell family of Tennessee who, in 2009, gained unwelcome notoriety when they were featured in a Wall Street Journal online article in which they discussed the hardships of maintaining their lifestyle — which included a $33,000 Infinity and a Florida summer home — on “only” $250,000 a year.

Dr. Moss was less than optimistic about finding a cure for Romnitis, which he likened to an addiction problem as much as to a communicable disease.

“These are people who grew into their incomes. They could have met their needs for transportation by purchasing a $16,000 Honda Civic but insisted on paying two to three times that for an Audi,” Dr. Moss said. “They’re surrounded by the more affordable opportunities the average American has to take — shopping at Walmart instead of Macy’s — but choose to embrace a luxurious lifestyle, and once they grow accustomed to that, breaking the cycle becomes increasingly difficult.”

“The irony is,” he added, “at their income brackets, they could afford top-notch psychological counseling.”

Thoughts For 2012

Monday, January 2nd, 2012

I know the tradition among media-types is to do a year-in-review kind of thing in which we revisit our favorite stories, make cutesy top 10 lists, et cetera, but I’m going to take a slightly different route and present to readers a list based on my experiences and thoughts inspired by 2011. I call it…

Stuff People Really Need To Keep In Mind In 2012

Neither the President nor any of his would-be GOP successors are evil people simply by virtue of the fact their ideologies are not your ideologies. Having a differing opinion or perspective does not provide just cause for hyperbolic, panic-stricken claims that so-and-so is trying to destroy America…and certainly not just cause for Hitler/Nazi comparisons.

The majority of reality TV shows are abominations. Shows like Jersey Shore, anything preceded by The Real Housewives of…, or with a Kardashian name attached to it are a pox on society. These shows pay ridiculous amounts of money to “real people” to behave in ways that would get a normal person arrested, or at the very least relentlessly mocked at social gatherings. They glamorize imbeciles, punks, and narcissists by packaging it as entertainment. We should not reward these people with fame and/or fortune. Stop paying attention to them.

Christianity, chill out. The “secular left” is not trying to destroy you or discriminate against you. What’s really happening here is, reasonable people are tired of being browbeaten by pious twits for daring to deviate from their standards — standards that, ironically, many self-described Christian politicians are very good at invoking, but very bad at following. When someone irks you, try the gentle answer or turning the other cheek approach rather than playing the victim or telling everyone what awful people they are.

On a related note: not everything that happens in the world happens for the express purpose of making you angry. Not everything is meant as an attack on all you hold dear. Stop looking for excuses to be pointlessly pissed off about trivial crap.

A note for Hollywood: 3-D is overdone and overrated. You know what would really get people into the theaters? Good movies. Stop raiding old TV shows and comic books for fodder, stop remaking great old movies that don’t need remaking. Try — and stay with me, because it’s a radical suggestion — original material. Because TV’s doing that and TV is kicking your hinders in terms of quality entertainment. TV. You know, that thing a lot of actors didn’t want to do instead of movies…that doesn’t cost $12 a pop for tickets and another $12 for a small soda and popcorn.

If 2011 taught us anything, it’s that focused protests can achieve a lot more than a bunch of people loitering for days and weeks on end in public parks. Thanks to people taking action in a focused and organized manner, Bank of America and Verizon abandoned plans for unnecessary fees, Netflix didn’t separate into two distinct entities, and — although this one still rankles me — Lowe’s dropped its advertising for “All-American Muslim.” And that last one only took a few hundred people expressing their religious intolerance in letter form!

Wind turbines do not necessarily cause negative health impacts because of their ultra-low-frequency sound emissions. That is a scientifically unproven point, despite what Dr. Nina Pierpont’s deeply flawed study suggests. Conversely, health effects caused by prolonged stress reactions are real and cannot be discounted because it’s inconvenient for the wind industry.

No one has 365 consecutive lousy days. You are not the exception to this rule. If your life really is kind of cruddy? Chances are, much of it is within your ability to change and you’re simply not exercising your authority over yourself, so stop wasting time blaming the world around you and make some changes.

Declaring that you are the first person to post in the comment section of a blog by posting, simply, “first” is obnoxious, pointless, and pathetic, so don’t do it (especially on this blog in response to this post in a sad attempt to be funny, because that only increases your lameness tenfold).

Open Letters To Congress And The Public

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011

Dear Congress:

You suck. Every last damned one of you.

You’ve been stinking up the joint for a long time now, but this week’s craptacular implosion of competence known as the deficit reduction super-committee deadlock was the rotten cherry atop your impotence sundae. Seriously? In two months, you couldn’t find a deficit reduction plan that all 12 of you agreed to?

Oh, what am I saying? Of course you couldn’t, because none of you the barest shred of courage necessary to peek out of your stifling ideological boxes for even a nanosecond. If you were a Democrat, you wanted tax hikes on the rich, if you were a Republican you wanted cuts, and there was simply no middle ground because god forbid you entertained an approach that wasn’t graven in stone by your respective parties.

And now we’re already deep within the phase of the quote-unquote process in which you start finding someone to blame for this mess other than yourselves. It’s the other guys whose ideas sucked. It’s the other guys who refused to budge from their position and compromise. It’s the other guys’ fault, not yours.

No, it is yours. Every member of the super-committee is to blame for allowing themselves to get further sucked into the morass of divisive partisan politics and flagrantly ignore your own rallying cries about “what the American people want.”

What the American people want is for you to fix the financial hellscape you’ve fashioned for this nation with your petty bickering and misplaced priorities and pissing contests over whether the left or the right is morally superior and unadulterated selfishness. Right now you all care only about two things: getting your jobs back in 2012 and getting your guy into the Oval Office. Everything else, like the public welfare, the public’s trust and faith in the system, the nation’s standing on the global stage? None of that truly matters to you — ANY of you. If it did, you’d be more willing to throw yourselves on the metaphorical grenade to save your constituents.

At this point in time, I do not believe that any single one of you elected federal officials give a toss about me, the country, the economy, job creation — I believe you only care about their political agendas and padding their own pockets. The concept of shared sacrifice you talk about, that stops right at your doorstep; I don’t see any of you giving up your six-figure salaries any more than I see you breaking away from the official party rulebook, and I don’t expect to see one of you manifest anything vaguely resembling courage in the name of breaking the deadlock that is slowly suffocating everyone in this country and driving us to fracture even more into our own little movements that achieve little beyond inflaming preexisting philosophical rifts to the boiling point and beyond.

You are supposed to represent the public. You are supposed to do what we want you to, and what we want you to do is act like goddamned adults.

***

Dear fellow voters,

Did you agree with any of what I just said?

Well, it’s your fault too.

Seriously, we put these people into positions of power, and we encourage their misbegotten feelings of untouchability by failing to hold them accountable.

Sure, right now you’re saying “Yeah! Let’s clean house and get these idiots out of office!” but, chances are, you’re not going to follow through. Even if you go vote — we have not exceeded a 60 percent voter turnout rate since 1968 — you know what you’re going to do? You’re going to look at the ballot, you’ll see the name of the guy that’s been there for years and/or belongs to the same party you do, and you’re going to think, “Sure, Congress is a cesspit, but MY GUY isn’t part of the problem” and you’re going to send him back to work in January.

You’ll rationalize the decision a thousand different ways, considering his “clout” in Congress, how he meshes with your own ideology, and all the good he’s done during his time in office, all the while turning a blissful blind eye to the fact that he’s part of a deeply entrenched political body that is more mired in myopic partisan bickering than perhaps any in history.

Your guy? He sucks. He sucks just as hard as the other guy. It’s time you manned up and admitted it. It’s time you displayed the same courage you berate Congress for lacking and throw the current guy out, even if it means sending in someone with whom you do not agree on anything (and if you’re really so hung up on the party aspects of it, try voting the incumbent out during the primaries — you know, those things that allegedly give you control over the process but are so driven by the party’s wants, needs, and money that they’re practically worthless…and that’s our fault too).

The definition of insanity, it’s been said, is repeating the same actions over and over while expecting a different result. The incumbency rate for the US House of Representatives has not dropped below 80 percent once in the past 30 years, and the last time the incumbency rate fell below 75 percent for the US Senate was 1980. That means this nation is at least three-quarters batcrap insane.

It’s way past time to end the insanity. Stop protesting, stop occupying, stop posting acidic comments on blogs and news sites and go DO SOMETHING. Do something real. Do something meaningful. Take control of your damned lives.

The Importometer Reading For 5/6/11 (a little late)

Monday, May 9th, 2011

10 ) Osama bin Laden is found and killed in a military raid. While this was a cathartic moment for the US and delivery of long-deferred justice, this may not necessarily be the beginning of the end for al Qaeda.

9 ) On a related note, Obama makes the right call in deciding not to release pics of bin Laden’s dead body. Doing so would have further incited those already outraged over bin Laden’s death and — I think the Birthers proved this — would not have convinced the nutters out there that he is really truly dead.

8 ) The Legislature holds a new round of hearings on the possibility of casino gaming in Massachusetts. Is it more than a little twisted that a portion of the revenue generated by casino gaming would be earmarked to fund gambling addiction programs?

7 ) The Popponesset Marketplace is heading for total shutdown over handicap accessibility issues. Just what the local economy needed.

6 ) Massachusetts appoints its first openly gay SJC justice in Barbara Lenk. Her first order of business is to outlaw conventional marriage (at least, that’s what dissenting governor’s councilor Charles Cipollini is expecting).

5 ) Auditor Suzanne Bump cleans house in her office, canning 27 people after an unfavorable independent review of the office. Her predecessor Joe DeNucci takes the finding personally and chides Bump, even though he had not voluntarily submitted his office to a review in 15 years; they’re supposed to take place every three. Joe. Bubbi. Suck it up. That fat state pension should help ease the pain.

4 ) Yarmouth Selectman Aubrey “Bud” Groskopf pulls a prop gun out at a meeting to make a point about wastewater management. I don’t know what’s more pathetic: the pointless use of violent imagery in this day and age or an old guy doing prop comedy.

3 ) Scott Brown’s formerly sterling image tarnishes a bit more after he proclaims a photo allegedly of bin Laden’s body genuine, only to later learn it was one of the many fakes making the rounds. Not as much of a head-scratcher as, say, claiming to be molested at a summer camp then refusing to name names, but these are the kind of dumb whoopsies that people really remember.

2 ) Matt Dean, Republican leader of the Minnesota House of Representatives, calls author Neil Gaiman a “pencil-necked weasel” and a “thief” for accepting a hefty speaker fee funded with taxpayer money. Money that was offered to him by its actual recipient, a library. Which it had to spend in order to keep its budget level-funded the following fiscal year. Which Gaiman donated in its entirety to two charities. The kicker, and this is true: Dean offered a half-hearted apology after his mother chided him for calling someone mean names. Great guy you got there, Minnesota.

1 ) President Obama zings birthers Michelle Bachman and Donald Trump at the annual White House press corps dinner. The Donald’s laughter looked about as realistic as his hair.

The Definition Of “Inconsistancy”

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Refuting the veracity of President Obama’s citizenship and Osama bin Laden’s death despite growing bodies of hard physical proof, yet insisting on the existence of a magic man who lives in a happy place where people go after they die because an ancient book of folk tales tells you it’s all real.

Celebrity Behavior Cycle For The Week Of March 19, 2011

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

Go on Twitter.

Say something callous about Japan.

Catch seven shades of Hell for it.

Go on Twitter again.

Offer half-assed apology.

Undermine half-assed apology with explanation/excuse that it was meant as a joke.

Slink away and wait for Charlie Sheen to do something to distract everyone.

Thirty-two short thoughts by Mike Gould

Tuesday, February 1st, 2011

1) If you got the joke in this blog post’s title, 500 movie geek points to you.

2) Working at home is not all it’s cracked up to be. I’ve been snowed in at least three times in as many weeks and I don’t care for it. I stay productive, yet I somehow feel like a huge slacked by simple virtue of the fact I’m not in my office.

3) I’ll be covering another hearing this week on some proposed regulations for onshore wind turbine development. I am not looking forward to listening to the exact same people air the exact same grievances yet again — especially since they so rarely address the merits of the proposal. Roy Richardson, if you’re listening: keep these people on-topic and give some new voices a chance to be heard, huh?

4) On Sheriff Cummings’ decision to hire Jeff Perry: Jeff does have solid credentials for the job, absolutely, but it has at the very least a distinct air of patronage, particularly after the sheriff lamented his funding woes. Perry needs to prove his worth, fast and in a big way, or the critics will be proven right.

5) Why are people still clinging to the “Obama wasn’t really born in this county” foolishness? Oh, right: because they’re frickin’ idiots who can’t deal with even the idea of two more years of Obama. Hey, guys, I sucked up eight years of George W., so man up.

6) I was angry when I learned that “Snooki” from “The Jersey Shore” scored a publishing deal. I was delighted to learn that her book “A Shore Thing” (get it? Isn’t that clever?) has sold fewer than 10,000 copies nationally.

7) Vampires are overdone and zombies are fast heading that way. Well, at least the fast-moving zombies are. The shamblers might take longer to achieve overexposure.

8 ) I am amazed how some ambitious filmmakers can — armed with a decent concept, good actors, minimal equipment, and almost no money — turn out really cool movies like “Monsters” or “Paranormal Entity,” yet others can only produce pieces of crap so smelly pigs wouldn’t wallow in it (i.e., 90 percent of the horror flicks you’ve never heard of available through Netflix).

9) “Bioshock: Infinite” cannot come out soon enough.

10) It’s been a couple of weeks since the Arizona tragedy. Have we forgotten about being civil and not riling up people by instilling them with a baseless fear of “the other”? Oh, right, we had Steve Cohen making Nazi references not too long ago. Way to bounce back, hyperbole-prone elected officials!

11) Sci-fi and alternate history fans, check out the work of Cherie Priest. “Boneshaker” was awesome, and “Dreadnought,” which I’m now reading, is well on its way to awesomeness.

12) If you see a guy near the Shining Sea Bike Path this spring trying to cut stuff in half with a bullwhip, that’d be me. Don’t freak out.

13) Most common comment thrown my way lately: “Why is there so much negative press about [insert topic here]? Why can’t you write any good news about [topic]?” My response: “Because that’s all you’re giving me, and you’re not giving me a reason to, respectively.”

14) Hey, you. The guy who’s stretching out his earlobes until I can pass a billiard ball through them. Your earlobes won’t reboot to normal size when you grow up and realize how stupid they look and try to take the rings out.

15) Random point of superficial pride: I know lots of hot women. Many of them know how to swordfight.

16) Political unrest in the rest of the world = violent, destructive riots. Political unrest in the US = poorly spelled protest signs and angry blog posts.

17) Fascinating Wikipedia find of the month: the entry on the Dunning-Kruger Effect, wherein people cannot grasp how ignorant they are in a given skill or field of knowledge, which leads to a false sense of superiority (think “American Idol” auditions). I know lots of people suffering from this.

18) Fascinating Boston Globe article that explains the “birthers” (see item #5) and people of their ilk: How Facts Backfire.

19) COMMENTERS ON BLOG POSTS WHO TYPE LIKE THIS NEED TO BE DELETED ON PRINCIPLE. THIS IS REALLY ANNOYING.

20) Mispronouncing or misspelling a word is not excusable with, “Well, that’s the way I say/spell it.”

21) Fame is an absurd goal. People have gotten famous for being extremely stupid, unlucky, or evil. Try aiming for happiness or success.

22) Unless you are an elderly British gentleman, calling a woman “dear” or “darling” or “sweetheart” is, as a rule, not endearing. It’s patronizing and, in some cases, kinda skeevy.

23) If you can be a vegetarian who doesn’t like to eat meat, I can be a carnivore who doesn’t like to eat vegetables.

24) Samuel Adams new beer, Revolutionary Rye Ale, is interesting. Don’t think I love it, but it’s a Sam Adams brew so it’s instantly ten times better than Budweiser (or Miller or Coors or Schlitz or Michelob or…)

25) Anyone who believes the media hype about “the end of the Fantastic Four” because one of the main characters is getting killed off has obviously never actually read a comic book.

26) “Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World” is awesome. If you missed it in the theaters, get it on DVD and prepare to go into sensory overload.

27) Why are more and more people deciding that it’s a good idea to stop their car in the middle of the road so they can hold a conversation with someone on the sidewalk? Or worse, that it’s smart to get out of your car at a stop light so you can chat with the person in the next car? Addendum: where do they get off acting indignant when another motorist tells them to move so traffic can get by?

28) Dear everyone involved with “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”: the cosmos is doing it’s damnedest to tell you this is a terrible idea. This is something the rest of us realized a long time ago, but how much more convincing do you need?

29) Little Steven’s Underground Garage — listen to it, love it, make it part of your life.

30) My bulldog Beatrix is well-known in South Station, models dog coats on Etsy, is currently appearing in a print ad for Clip Clocks, has appeared on the cover of a pet supplement in last year’s Enterprise, and has been rendered in balloons by renowned balloon artist Royal Sorrell and as a lawn ornament. In other words, my dog has a more fascinating public life than I do.

31) Whatever happened to those neat trucks that took snow and melted it down and flushed it into municipal drainage systems? They were all over the news a few years ago and were touted as a great way to dispose of mountains of snow. We could sure use a few of them now.

32) Sarah Palin: still a doofus.

Mike’s adventures through the political looking glass continue…

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

Scan through my posts throughout the special US Senate election and you’ll see that I was never a big fan of US Senator Scott Brown. Didn’t like his superficial campaign, didn’t buy into his sound bites, didn’t think he had a game plan…so yeah, not my favorite guy.

And yet, I now find myself compelled to defend him a second time (the first time is here). (more…)

A message from Snark-Infested Waters

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

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Joking (somewhat) aside, I’ve been inspired to go OLD old-school with my holiday greeting this year in response to the latest surge of people pushing “Merry Christmas” is THE only acceptable greeting.

This morning I read a piece by Howie Carr — a man who embodies Jesus in his unconditional tolerance and acceptance of all people — encouraging State Senator Scott Brown (R – Wrentham) to use “Merry Christmas” relentlessly in order to draw some quick and easy attention from the media (and ire from liberal “moonbats,” because they universally hate Christmas). I also read a piece extolling the “historical” attachments of the birth of Christ to Christmas (as detailed in that most respected of historical texts, the New Testament).

If we’re going to embrace the “true origins” of Christmas, then Jesus has to move over and make room, because Christmas owes a lot to pagan celebrations that pre-date his birth. The Christmas tree, for example, itself finds its origins in the Roman practice of bringing an evergreen plants into the home as part of the winter solstice celebration.

It’s also been hotly debated that early Christians, seeking to eradicate pagan faiths, reoriented Christmas and other key celebrations to coincide with pagan holy days in order to make assimilation of the godless heathens easier.

So, in summary: Jesus is not THE reason for the season; it’s A reason for the season, so Christians: ease up a bit, huh?

And before you start whining about the “war on Christmas” and society’s alleged efforts to eradicate all Christian elements of the holiday, take a moment to consider the irony.

Happy Yul(e)!

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