Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

Snark-Infested Waters by Mike Bailey

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The Importometer Reading For December 7, 2012

December 7th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

10 ) Congress finds itself at an impasse over the solution to the looming fiscal cliff and filibuster reform. Going to be a long two years until mid-term elections…

9 ) Senate Republicans reject a UN-backed non-binding set of recommended standards for handicapped access based on the US’s own Americans With Disabilities Act. One more group brought under the GOP’s big umbrella!

8 ) Japan gets hits with a major earthquake on Pearl Harbor Day. This is the sort of coincidence Pat Robertson dreams about.

7 ) Fox News ramps up its annual “war on Christmas” coverage. The first casualty: credibility. Oh, wait, it’s Fox. Never mind.

6 ) The trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness drops, wowing fans while failing to name Benedict Cumberbatch’s villain. Hopefully, the character will have a more ominous name than “Benedict Cumberbatch.”

5 ) A Cape Cod-area reporter is caught fabricating sources. Editors found out from a tipster named Amanda Hugginkiss.

4 ) Gossip rag TMZ catches Mitt Romney shopping at Costco. Also known as the company run by the guy who wants higher taxes on the rich and pays employees a living wage. But hey, Romney and cognitive dissonance have always been on good terms.

3 ) Fleetwood Mac reunites for a global tour. They say they’re really going to focus on the music, which should be easy now that they’ve gotten old and doughy and don’t want to sleep with each other constantly.

2 ) Lord of the Rings geeks hit a new low in obsession by criticizing the frame rate of the new Hobbit film. Could you please go back to debating whether omitting Tom Bombadil from The Fellowship of the Ring was necessary?

1 ) Kate Middleton is pregnant. And let’s be clear, unless you are her husband, relative, or close friend, this news is NOT IMPORTANT TO ANYONE.

The Importometer Reading For November 30, 2012

November 30th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

10 ) SNOW! SNOW! DEAR SWEET JESUS IT SNOWED THIS WEEK AND IT WAS A NIGHTMARE! Actually, it was nothing big, but man, you go eight months without it and everyone forgets how to drive in it.

9 ) Home sales in Massachusetts increase, along with home prices. In your face, recession! Or depression. Or whatever the hell our economy’s in.

8 ) Congressional Republicans are considering breaking the “no taxes” pledge they signed in order to address the “fiscal cliff.” Whoa, hey, let’s not throw that purely symbolic pledge based on Republican dogma out the window so fast there. I mean sure, you could actually help people and solve a major problem, but is it worth your honor?

7 ) Ironically named casino mogul Steve Wynn eyeballs a new site in Everett for a casino. Please! Everyone knows that Lynn is the shady, low-rent city of choice for a casino.

6 ) Lt. Gov. Tim Murray drops hints he might run for governor. Hey, we just got out of an election cycle! Slow down! Oh, uh, I mean…no, I mean slow down, leadfoot.

5 ) Larry Hagman dies, but we won’t find out what killed him until next fall.

4 ) Chris Brown deletes his Twitter account following a vulgar exchange with a female comedian. What? Chris Brown treating women badly? I’m shocked…SHOCKED, I say!

3 ) Korean rapper’s Psy’s Gangnam Style video surpasses Justin Bieber’s Baby as the most-watched music video on YouTube. Lesson learned: a song with lyrics you don’t understand can be superior to a song with lyrics that you do understand but suck.

2 ) Angus T. Jones of Two and a Half Men, finds religion and in a YouTube video exhorts people to stop watching his show because it’s “filth.” And God says, the truth shall set you free (of your contract with CBS).

1 ) Lindsay Lohan gets roasted by critics for her portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor in a TV movie. Her reward? Charlie Sheen pays off $100,000 she owes in back taxes.

The Importometer Reading For November 23, 2012

November 23rd, 2012 by Mike Bailey

10 ) Israel bombs the bejesus out of the Gaza Strip. Uh…Happy Thanksgiving?

9 ) National retailers face a backlash from employees forced to start their Black Friday shifts on Thursday night. “They can just suck it up,” said the CEO of one such company from the warmth of his bed around noontime Friday.

8 ) A woman who works with developmentally disabled adults catches hell after taking a mocking photo of herself at Arlington National Cemetery. Photobomb indeed.

7 ) Russell Brand takes on members of the Westboro Baptists Church and wins. Who saw that coming?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2JAErHl7lZ4#!

6 ) Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash resigns after a second man accuses him of an underage sex scandal and his first accuser recants his earlier recantation. This is sounding more like Avenue Q than Sesame Street.

5 ) Bill O’Reilly plugs the Dan’l Webster Inn in Sandwich as hosting one of the country’s best Thanksgiving meals. Bill? If you want people to go there, maybe you shouldn’t attach your name to the place.

4 ) MC Hammer becomes relevant again thanks to a ridiculous — and entertaining as hell — duet with Korean rapper Psy at the American Music Awards. You’re welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WOyo7JD7hjo

3 ) And then Jenny McCarthy ruins the show by molesting Justin Bieber at the podium. Ew, ew, a million times ew.

2 ) AC/DC finally releases its catalog on iTunes. Don’t give them too hard a time about dragging their feet on this. It took them 20 years to learn a fourth chord.

1 ) Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 makes more than $140 million in its first weekend. You know what this means? Kristien Stewart and Robert Pattinson are job creators.

The Black Friday Survival Guide

November 19th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

Friday marks a major day: it is the 14th annual observation of Thank God I Don’t Work in Retail Anymore Day, marked by me in a quiet, tasteful ceremony that involves feeling sorry for the poor SOBs who have yet to escape Retail Hell. I hold this ceremony from the cozy confines of my bed.

This year I’m expecting Black Friday to be a bit of an ugly affair since many national retail companies are planning to open earlier than ever before — midnight or even Thanksgiving evening — which means workers get to sacrifice even more of their holiday catering to the whims of corporate heads who get to sleep in. Across the country Walmart and Target employees in particular are staging strikes and walkouts to protest these ridiculous early openings.

If you agree that Black Friday (which is slowing morphing into Black Thursday) is getting out of control — well, don’t forget to first look in the mirror, because you may have played a role in this; the shopping public is as much responsible for these increasingly early openings by doing exactly what the retail giants want you to do: turn out by the thousands at the crack of dawn or earlier to spend spend spend.

“But the bargains,” you might say, “the bargains!”

Which is important why, exactly? Are you really saving money? Or is this a case of fuzzy consumer math wherein you drop $500 on a lot of junk — more than you planned on spending on Christmas gifts — but instead focus like a laser on the $50 you didn’t spend because everything was on sale and think you’ve somehow come out ahead? And do you really think that giving someone a less expensive, elaborate gift somehow diminishes the emotions behind the act of gift-giving?

Besides which, A) a lot of the best bargains are going to be scooped up before you even get in the door, and you know it, and B) there are going to be a LOT more sales in the coming four weeks that are just as good, so why not spare yourself the headache of standing outside a store in the freezing cold for several hours?

Now, a few friends have made the argument to me that with the economy still on shaky legs, the public kind of needs to go crazy on spending. Christmas shopping equals economic stimulus, they say, and a lot of retailers are adding seasonal jobs to handle the mad rush (700,000 temp retail jobs according to Forbes).

Okay, valid point, but that argument only goes so far. First of all, yes, any work is better than no work for those who need it, but there is only so much salvation to be found in a part-time minimum wage gig with no benefits that will maybe last until January.

Also, remember that these are national retailers we’re talking about, and a lot of that revenue is going to funnel up to the upper echelons of corporate leadership before it turns into job creation at the rank-and-file level.

You want to have a real impact on the economy? Shop locally.

Yes, I’m one of those.

As I’ve stated here before, small businesses, not large corporations, are the true backbone of the American economy. The US Small Business Administration found that of the approximately 27 million businesses operating in the U.S., 78 percent of them have fewer than 10 employees, and 61 percent have fewer than five — and, collectively, community-based small businesses have generated 64 percent of all new jobs created within the past 15 years.

Add to that the fact that, according to various studies, much more money remains in the local economy if it is spent at a local business than if it goes to a national chain. One sponsored by Local First, “Local Works! Examining the Impact of Local Business on the West Michigan Economy” (2008), stated that $68 out of every $100 spent at a local business remains in the community versus $43 out of every $100 spent at a business that is not locally owned.

Added bonus of shopping at a small business: the owners are going to sleep in on Friday, so you can too.

American Express a few years ago launched the Small Business Saturday initiative to spotlight the value and importance of shopping locally, and in that spirit I’m going to plug a few small businesses I think readers should check out:

Coffee Obsession (Falmouth): While I am a dedicated Starbucks junkie, Coffee O deserves your love. Grab a gift card or a pound of ground coffee or one of the many funky coffee makers they have on sale.

Cupcake Charlie’s (Mashpee and Plymouth): My tongue is sad that I don’t get to Cupcake Charlie’s as often as I do, but my waistline is grateful it’s a rare treat — but it is absolutely a treat. I dig the Peanut Butter Pleasure, but if you ever have a chance to snag the Ginger Snap cupcake, DO IT. Get a gift card or buy some cupcakes for your holiday party.

Peking Palace and Paul’s Pizza (Falmouth): Respectively the best Chinese food and pizza in town. Gift certificates for everyone!

Geeky and Cheeky: My friend Jess runs this business, which makes fun handmade dolls and puppets for all ages, including the nerdy adults in your life. She does custom work as well!

Richard Maclone Photography (Falmouth): You might know him as the Enterprise’s sports editor, but my buddy Rich is also a crack portrait and wedding photographer (he did a fantastic job at my wedding).

And now, the self-serving portion of the post…

Enterprise Newspapers (Barnstable, Bourne, Falmouth, Mashpee, Sandwich): Buy a gift subscription for a family member or a friend. Keep them well-informed of what’s going on in their town and keep me in coffee and cupcakes.

Storied Threads: My wife’s endeavor, which caters heavily to the geek crowd in the form of embroidered patches, bags, scarves, and period clothing and accessories.

Do you have a favorite locally owned small business you want to highlight? Go ahead and post a link!

The Importometer Reading For November 16, 2012

November 16th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

10 ) General David Patraeus’s cheating scandal rocks Washington. Lesson to be learned, potential cheaters: if the head of the CIA can’t get away with it…

9 ) Corporate CEOs start cutting jobs and hours in a pre-emptive response to the financial crisis they insist a second Obama term will bring about. For their next trick, they’re going to point to an odd spike in unemployment numbers in November and cry, “Told you so!”

8 ) People in 20 states, angry over the election results, file petitions to secede from the US. Look, guys, we don’t like you either, but we’re stuck with each other, so let’s all put on our big boy pants, shall we?

7 ) Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash is vindicated after allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy prove false. Nevertheless, comedians across the country wonder if it’s too soon to make crude Tickle Me Elmo jokes (answer: yes it is).

6 ) Retail employees rail against big-name stores planning to start Black Friday on Thanksgiving — an edict handed down by CEOs who no doubt get to enjoy their holidays in peace (and sleep in the next day).

5 ) Jon Bon Jovi’s daughter OD’s on heroin and, amazingly, not one media outlet resorts to a “Bad Medicine” joke.

4 ) Celeb chef Guy Fieri defends his new restaurant against a scathing New York Times review, claiming a critic can’t get a good gauge of a restaurant’s quality within four visits. I agree. I can usually tell if a restaurant sucks after the first visit.

3 ) Channing Tatum is named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year — also known as The Man Who Just Appeared In a Bunch of Movies Without His Shirt On.

2 ) Justin Bieber breaks up with Selena Gomez, prompting thousands of adolescent girls to fantasize wildly that they could become the next Ms. Bieber.

1 ) Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 wins rave reviews: “It’s a fairly satisfying wrap-up to a not-very-satisfying series”; “It’s not a terribly satisfactory capper to the Twilight franchise”; “The dialogue remains spotty and sappy, the effects still haven’t caught up to modern-day standards, but Twilight’s popularity is such that even when it falls short, it doesn’t seem to matter”…and these are from the positive critical reviews.

The Importometer Reading For November 9, 2012

November 9th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

10 ) President Obama gets four more years! Look at it this way, Romney supporters: if he’d won, in two weeks he’d just be trashing Americans as part of his newly launched campaign to become prime minister of Canada.

9 ) Winter Storm Athena hits the northeast. If we’re going for a god motif with storm names now, I personally cannot wait for Winter Storms Cthulhu, Tiamat, and Quetzalcoatl.

8 ) Elizabeth Warren becomes the state’s first-ever female US Senator, and it saddens me I actually had to write that sentence.

7 ) Mary Pat Flynn and Sheila Lyons are returned to the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, winning five towns and nine towns respectively. Couple that with wins by Julia Taylor and Suzanne McAuliffe for the Assembly of Delegates and, well, for their detractors this equals one Very Ouchie Win.

6 ) Disney buys LucasFilm and plans a new Star Wars trilogy. This one will use a lot of animatronic characters,thus guaranteeing they will emote more convincingly than Hayden Christensen.

5 ) Skyfall, the new James Bond film, opens to rave reviews. I don’t know, I don’t think anything can beat Bond skydiving with the queen, but we’ll see.

4 ) Rumors that Diane Sawyer was drunk during ABC’s election coverage swirl. Hey, if I’d been covering the presidential election all year, I’d want to get hammered too.

3 ) Donald Trump freaks out over Twitter after Obama’s win, calling the electoral process “a travesty.” Freaks out? I meant to say pulling hair off.

2 ) Mark Wahlberg agrees to star in Transformers 4, figuring that after The Happening, if he’s going to do a crap movie he might as well make a ton of money for it.

1 ) Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart remain elusive about their relationship status as they promote the last Twilight film. I wish the movie would be as elusive.

The Week In Politics – November 9, 2012

November 9th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

At last, we reach the end of the long, winding, annoying, aggravating road that was the 2012 election cycle.

First, I will opine but briefly on the presidential race and say: whew! Dodged a bullet on that one. Plus: it succeeded in cheesing off Donald Trump in a huge way, and anytime The Donald is unhappy is cause to smile.

Now, onto the major local races, two of which had the potential for upset victories: the race for State Senate of the Plymouth and Barnstable District, the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners. In both cases, the incumbents were returned to office by healthy margins.

Senate President Therese M. Murray (D – Plymouth) came within five percentage points of losing to Republican challenger Thomas F. Keyes in 2010, and this time around, despite some solid campaigning by her opponent, Sen. Murray won with 58 percent of the vote to Mr. Keyes’ 41 percent.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Keyes remarked after his concession speech that the reason he lost is because he was out-spent by Sen. Murray. Funny how the winning candidate always thanks his or her supporters, but the loser always blames outside forces for his/her loss, isn’t it? But I digress…

What really cost Mr. Keyes the race is the fact that all he offered was a lot of unremarkable ideas and negativity toward the incumbent. Any given e-mail from the Keyes campaign could be summed up thusly: “Therese Murray did something. Wow, is she corrupt and uncaring! I won’t be, though, so vote for me,” and you need more than knee-jerk gainsaying to win a race.

Then we have the three-way race for two seats on the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners between incumbents Mary L. (Pat) Flynn of Falmouth and Sheila R. Lyons of Wellfleet, and Eric L. Steinhilber of Barnstable.

The two incumbents deserved to win. They displayed a clearly superior grasp of a wide range of countywide issues, whereas Mr. Steinhilber ran a one-note race, and that note was very, very flat: he anchored his campaign in opposing a “Cape Cod wastewater authority,” a taxpayer-funded regional agency charged with administering a Cape-wide wastewater management plan, which was proposed earlier this year by the Special Commission on County Governance.

That would have been a fine tactic if it weren’t for the fact Mr. Steinhilber himself declared the wastewater authority proposal a dead issue back in August, weeks after Ms. Flynn and Ms. Lyons voiced their formal opposition to the idea. He later resurrected it as his primary campaign talking point, despite the fact no one was disagreeing with him (although he tried awfully hard to make it sound like they were).

I maintain that Mr. Steinhilber has potential as a candidate, and maybe next time around he’ll be more diligent about doing his homework on the issues and will offer a more well-rounded campaign platform (and will be better able to defend his positions when challenged on them).

Thanks for reading, folks, and I’ll see you again in 2014! In the meantime, you can keep up with my ramblings here on my blog.

The Post-Election Logic Twist

November 8th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

It’s always amusing to watch media pundits rationalize the hell out of a loss, but what’s even more entertaining is watching members of the general public play fast and loose with the data.

To wit: in the wake of the three-way race for the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners, a self-styled “citizen activist” (I won’t play to his ego by naming him here, but most people in county government know who this particular individual is) posted this curious analysis of the results, which had incumbents Mary Pat Flynn and Sheila Lyons winning over Eric Steinhilber (splitting the vote, respectively, by 37, 33, and 30 percent):

The following is merely an observation of fact by one Cape Cod voter regarding the November 6th Barnstable County Commissioner election. In four of Cape Cod’s major municipalities, the challenger, Eric Steinhilber received substantially more votes for Barnstable County Commissioner than the incumbent County Commissioner, Sheila Lyons. Those towns were Barnstable (the Cape’s largest town), Bourne, Mashpee and Sandwich. In essence, these election results translate into a significant VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE in the failed and weak leadership-style so clearly exhibited by Ms. Lyons during the last four years of her regional government tenure.

To recap: in a 15-town race, placing third in four “major municipalities” equals a harsh damnation of a candidate’s ability to do her job.

Well, let’s take a look at the Cape-wide results in full context. The following chart is from Globe.com, with color-coding added by Snark-Infested Waters, with green indicating a first-place finish, yellow second place, and red third place.

So yes, it is true Ms. Lyons finished third in four towns. It is also true she finished first in nine towns.

It is also true that Mr. Steinhilber, our citizen activist’s preferred candidate, finished third in 10 towns — and lost some of those towns by several hundred votes compared to both the first and second place finishers. So if losing four towns is a grim statement on Ms. Lyons’ capabilities as an elected officials, then losing 10 must surely by a scathing condemnation of Mr. Steinhilber’s potential in that same role.

But the point is not to extol one candidate or lambaste another (I frankly don’t care who wins these races, so long as they return my phone calls). The point is to illustrate how anyone can take information and, with some selective omission and creative interpretation, present it as evidence to support a shaky base argument.

We’re seeing a lot of that going on at the national level too, with the Fox News talking heads trying their damnedest to explain how Barack Obama did not “really” win the election, and bitter Romney supporters predicting with an air of doom and gloom and no small amount of perverted glee how the next four years will turn America into a hellscape of broken dreams.

The races are over, folks, and the winners have been chosen. Crying and whining over coming out on the losing side of history, whether it’s the presidency or a race in your own back yard, is not going to solve the problems these elected officials must now tackle, and you’re not making things easier by playing cheerleader for failure, just so you can four years from now crow “I told you so.” That self-absorbed, self-righteous, defeatist attitude will do much more to sabotage our success than anything the people in power will do.

Just ask the Republicans who lost the presidency.

The Week In Politics – Pre-Election Edition

November 5th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

The end is nigh!

By which I mean the end of the election cycle, and thank Cthulhu for that, because the onslaught of negative TV ads was honestly grating on my last nerve. Sad to say, I’m actually looking forward to the non-stop ads for Christmas shopping sales.

With Election Day tomorrow, I’m going to offer some thoughts on various races. I wouldn’t call them endorsements per se, since I think endorsements are worthless, but I will opine about who I think should win.

I’ll start at the top and say that I want Obama to get a second term. I say this as someone who voted for Obama and has often been disappointed in his performance over the past four years — but not so much as to give him the boot and put Romney in the Oval Office.

I find Romney to be as disingenuous and insincere a politician as you could get, but that’s not why I oppose him. Nor do I oppose him on his rather vague financial policies, which I believe are ultimately no better or worse than Obama’s (though I definitely do not subscribe to trickle-down/supply-side economics as a viable and sustainable economic model).

What is driving me away from Romney in a huge way: I believe he would champion a social agenda that sets back civil rights for women and homosexuals. If you’ve read the GOP’s official policy paper for the 2012 election (I have), you’ll see that it codifies repressing rights for same-sex couples and, specifically, women in the military. Our President is supposed to champion equal rights for all citizens, and anyone who would repress rights in the name of some ill-defined greater social good doesn’t deserve the nation’s top seat.

If Obama is re-elected, my hope is that the GOP ceases its efforts to stop Obama’s major economic initiatives cold in the name of political gamesmanship and works with him to craft policies that are in everyone’s best interests — not just the uber-rich, not just the very poor, everyone.

US Senate

I’m one step away from flipping a coin at the voting booth, because I really don’t care for either Scott Brown or Elizabeth Warren. Neither of them has impressed me so much that I’m falling over myself to vote for them.

Congress

Let me first say that Dan Botelho is probably the best third-party/non-party candidate this area has seen in years. He’s not a righteously indignant one-issue ideologue, which is largely what has emerged to run against the party candidates,  but a thoughtful and well-informed candidate with some good ideas.

Christopher Sheldon, while a decent candidate, never struck me as a great candidate, and definitely not a superior choice to Congressman William Keating. His critics like to say “Keating hasn’t done anything for this district!” but that is a patently false statement. His record of achievement is fairly good for a first-term Congressman, and he has treated the Cape as well as his predecessor Bill Delahunt ever did.

State Senate

I think Cape voters would be nuts to let Senate President Therese Murray (D – Plymouth) go, in good part because of that title in front of her name; as Senate President, she has the mojo to get things done for her district in a big way. She’s also spearheaded some significant reform efforts over the past two or three terms, so she’s not sitting on her hands doing nothing.

Tom Keyes has run a much better campaign than in 2010, and I fully expect another close race between him and Sen. Murray, but so much of his campaign has been based in reactionary statements that try to paint Sen. Murray as a corrupt, ineffective do-nothing. If Murray were to state, “I like cats,” Keyes would issue a press release accusing her of being in the pocket of Big Dog. He hasn’t really distinguished himself as a superior alternative to the incumbent, and if he does come out on top, I would say Murray lost the race rather than Keyes won it.

Barnstable County Commissioners

Mary Pat Flynn and Sheila Lyons should be returned to the board, because Eric Steinhilber has not proven himself worthy of ousting either of the incumbents.

Mr. Steinhilber chose the wrong tentpole issue in the “MWRA on Cape Cod” to-do, stuck to his guns far longer than he should have once that topic’s shelf-life expired back in the summer, and has failed to show voters why his opposition to a taxpayer-funded wastewater authority is somehow better, more reliable, or just plain different than Ms. Flynn’s or Ms. Lyons’.

I directly asked Mr. Steinhilber why voters should believe him when he says “I oppose a wastewater authority” but doubt the incumbents when they say it, and he did not provide a good answer; his argument was, basically, he was dead-set against it and Flynn and Lyons were not — and he did not elaborate whether he thought they were lying or were simply easily manipulated dupes who could be bullied into changing their minds.

That, coupled with his lackluster ideas on other issues and failure to recognize OpenCape as a potential economic engine for the region, make him ill-suited for the job compared to Flynn and Lyons — and that’s a shame because I had high hopes for the guy. I maintain he would have made a better challenger for State Senator Dan Wolf (D – Harwich) in 2010 than Jim Crocker, but the man needs to be better about doing his homework and distinguishing good issues from bad (or non-) issues.

Question One

The Right to Repair question is a tricky one, but let’s be clear about one thing: voting “no” on Question One does NOT negate the Right to Repair Law passed earlier this year; a “no” vote is against the ballot question only.

What a “yes” vote would do is set the stage for a mess in the Legislature. By approving a RtR Law via the ballot, voters would be overriding the existing law, which lawmakers approved after several failed efforts in the face of staunch opposition by the auto industry. The existing law may have flaws, but it would be better to address those flaws through the legislative process than by forcing lawmakers to either entirely scrap the law they crafted — or create a compromise law, or ignore the will of the voters completely and keeping the current version.

Candidate Profile: Sheila Lyons

October 26th, 2012 by Mike Bailey

By MICHAEL C. BAILEY

A number of initiatives begun during Sheila R. Lyons’ first term on the Barnstable County Board of County Commissioners are coming to fruition, and Ms. Lyons is looking for a second term so she can see them through to conclusion.

“We’ve been doing some great things, and we’re in the process of some of these initiatives being realized,” she said. “We’ve put wheels into motion and I would like to see these initiatives through. I do think that there is still a lot to be done.”

Ms. Lyons said that over the past four years, the commissioners have improved transparency by streaming their meetings online and creating a video archive of their meetings; have improved coordination between the Barnstable County Human Services Department, county officials, and individual human service providers across the region; and established the Regional Umbrella Services System (RUSS), which will explore regional applications for the OpenCape broadband network, which is scheduled to be fully active in January.

She added that the county has taken positive steps toward addressing what is shaping up to be the biggest issue in the coming decade: wastewater management.

“We’ve wasted 15 years just kicking this around,” she said, and the threat of a lawsuit by the Conservation Law Foundation and the Buzzards Bay Coalition is emphasizing the county’s need to have a comprehensive wastewater management plan. “Wastewater is indeed the biggest economic and environmental issue on the Cape, and if we don’t deal with it, we’re going to use everything.”

In February, the commissioners charged Andrew Gottlieb and Paul J. Niedzwiecki, respectively the executive directors of the Cape Cod Water Protection Collaborative and the Cape Cod Commission, with exploring a regional management plan, which is scheduled to be submitted by the end of the year.

She said she hopes to see a plan that “doesn’t penalize anyone who has done the work” at the local level and proposes solutions entailing “the least amount of infrastructure, with a savings to the taxpayer.”

Ms. Lyons stated that, despite claims from critics and one of her opponents, Eric R. Steinhilber, she was not in favor of a “wastewater authority” with taxation powers — one of the changes recommended earlier this year by the Special Commission on County Governance.

“Nobody has ever voted for it or called for a wastewater authority,” among the county commissioners or the assembly, she said, and the report itself called for the creation of a regional “wastewater district” and “fair, broad-based funding mechanisms” to support that entity.

Commission co-chairman Robert A. O’Leary suggested taxation on property owners as a way to generate revenue for the district, and Ms. Lyons interpreted that as his effort to “emphasize the seriousness of this” and a challenge to county officials to “have the political courage” to pursue the option if they determined it was necessary.

However, Ms. Lyons said the commissioners have heard significant opposition to a tax-funded regional authority from town officials across the Cape, and she considers the proposal dead.

If funding is necessary to support whatever approach the county adopts, that is all the more reason for the county to develop a comprehensive plan. She pointed to the OpenCape project as an example of how a strong plan can leverage federal funding, noting that the plan was unveiled in 2006, and between 2008 and 2010 received a total of $37 million in state and federal funding to make it a reality.

“That’s what you get when you have a plan,” she said. “That’s why you plan.”

New County Structure

“We need to have some structural changes within the county,” she said, and one of the changes she wants to pursue is “a strong administrator” with executive powers, another recommendation by the Special Commission on County Governance.

By creating a “county executive” position, Ms. Lyons said Cape Cod would gain someone who could truly champion county government and its mission to provide economic, efficient services to all 15 towns.

Creating such a post would require shifting certain executive powers from the county commissioners to the county executive, she said, and separating out peripheral duties currently handled by the county administrator and assistant administrator. The administrator also acts as the county’s finance director, and the assistant administrator serves as administrator for the Cape Light Compact.

“These are too many jobs for too few people,” she said, “and for anything to get done well, you need someone that’s much more pro-active in interacting with departments, out there looking for those grant opportunities.”

Ms. Lyons was also supportive of a new proposal from the assembly to create a county finance director who would be solely responsible for monitoring the county’s revenue and expenditures, and she proposed forming a joint county commissioners/assembly subcommittee to explore the idea.

Once the county executive issue is addressed, the commissioners could then better determine whether it was necessary to act on another of the special commission’s suggestions: combining the county commissioners and the Barnstable County Assembly of Delegates.

Under the special commission’s plan, the three-member board of county commissioners would be expanded to seven members, five of whom would represent specific districts, two of whom would be at-large members representing the entire region.

While open to the idea, Ms. Lyons said there are “constitutional questions” whether representation by geography rather than population is allowable, referring to criticism from the smaller Lower Cape towns that they do not have a strong voice in county government.

When the assembly was created in 1998, constitutional “one man, one vote” requirements led to the assembly’s weighted vote system, which gives larger towns such as Barnstable and Falmouth more influence on votes that the Lower Cape towns, some of which have less than two percent of the total vote.

She added she understood the concept of having county commissioners represent specific districts, but said that in running a county-wide campaign, “as difficult as it is, I had a much better understanding of Cape Cod because I ran a 15-town campaign. I spent time getting to know not only the elected officials in those towns but the individual voter, and I could start to see where each town has similarities and differences culturally, politically, philosophically.”

“If you’re going to govern over the entire land, you need to know the land you’re governing,” Ms. Lyons said.

New County Services?

Ms. Lyons identified two other brewing major projects for the county, the first of which is the proposed purchase of the Dennis-based Aquacultural Research Corporation (ARC), which has been pitched by its current owners as a possible county service.

The candidate said she first became aware of ARC’s interest in becoming a county service six years ago, while Ms. Lyons was still on the assembly, through local shellfisherman who were concerned at the prospect of losing the state’s only commercial shellfish hatchery, which provide the Cape’s 235 shellfish farms with 90 percent of their seed.

The commissioners have held two executive session meetings to discuss the $4 million proposed purchase so Ms. Lyons could not comment in-depth on the matter, but said the county “would be negligent if we did not look at it.”

However, she added that she would not support the idea if the commissioners’ research suggests the business would be “a money pit…I would like for it to be able to pay for itself.”

“We have to have the right plan, the right business plan,” she said. “It’s not like we’re going to be negligent about it just to go forward.”

Ms. Lyons said she planned to exercise similar caution when exploring the concept of establishing a regional emergency dispatch center. The Barnstable County Regional Emergency Planning Committee’s 911 Dispatch Study Steering Committee is currently working on that proposal, and one option on the table is utilizing existing infrastructure and personnel at the Barnstable County Sheriff’s Department’s regional dispatch center.

While she was open to that possibility, Ms. Lyons said she was hesitant to endorse that model due to past issues with the sheriff’s department and its administration of the region’s Centralized Emergency Medical Dispatch (CMED) system.

The Cape and Islands CMED system coordinates communications between four area hospitals and ambulances operating on the Cape and surrounding communities. It also coordinates MedFlight helicopter landings for the Cape.

Ms. Lyons noted that James M. Cummings, county sheriff, has in the past warned of a possible CMED shutdown if he could not obtain funding to support its $450,000 annual operating costs, and she worried that a similar lack of a funding mechanism for a full-fledged county dispatch service could lead to problems down the road.

Ms. Lyons’ official campaign website is www.sheilalyonscapecod.com.

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